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San Francisco Giants Link Dump, 7/3

Being dumped on their plan, they linked up the sun

Ruben Amaro Jr did a very poor job in both trades involving this Mr Pence
Ruben Amaro Jr did a very poor job in both trades involving this Mr Pence
Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

Remember yesterday, when the Giants hadn't just lost the night before? Oh, to go back to those heady days. We were so young and innocent then.

The Hunter Pence trade just keeps on giving
The main takeaway of this article is LOL PHILLIES, which is always an important issue to raise. As a baseball-loving Internet community, we must be ever-vigilant about sufficiently mocking Ruben Amaro Jr, lest we lose our charter and have to comment only on SFGate articles. Most people don't read the bylaws carefully enough to know that's a possibility, but it's in there. It happened to Baseball Toaster, and it could happen to us.


Eyewitness Scouting Report
BP scouts Augusta starter Keury Mella and comes away fairly impressed with his potential. They project Mella to be an above-average starter with a plus-plus fastball and two good off-speed pitches. I have absolutely no problem assuming that the one scout who was at that one game is displaying an uncanny prescience, and that this is actually Mella's floor. After all, what if he develops another pitch like a splitter or cutter? Then he'd be better!

/pencils Keury Mella into Giants rotation for a decade starting in 2018
/feels good about the day's work


Crooked Numbers: Squirrels love Miley Cyrus
That headline is actually about the Richmond Flying Squirrels, the Giants' AA affiliate, and not the squirrels that live in trees. This is not to say that regular squirrels, while eating acorns, don't rock out to Party in the USA, but I don't have any information on that either way, so it would be irresponsible to speculate. Also:

I came in like a flying squirrel
I never hit so hard a ball
All I wanted was a strike on the pitch I hurled
All you ever did was striiiiiiike out
Yeah, you, striiiiiiike out

Uh...sorry about that. The thing is, it happened.


Home Field Advantage: Belt
Brandon and Haylee Belt take us inside their house, and discuss what the most important factor was in their decision to move from the city out into the suburbs. Not to give you a hint here, but: Who's a good most important factor? Who's the best most important factor in the world? Is it you? Is it you? Yes it is. Yes it is.

In case you didn't get it, I'm talking about Pat Burrell.


Discourse on the Otter
Courtesy of waelwulf, we have the combination of critical theory and otters that the world has long been awaiting.