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San Francisco Giants Link Dump, 7/28

Jackie is a link, Judy is a dump, they both went down to Berlin, joined the Ice Capades

Looks like his name is spelled correctly here, which is pretty disappointing
Looks like his name is spelled correctly here, which is pretty disappointing
Elsa

I don't care how much dirt is on your bathroom floor, if you use the word "sweep" in this thread, you get banned.

30 Ways the Rockies "Tulowizki" Giveaway Could Have Gone Worse
You might have heard about that little error the Rockies made when they misspelled Troy Tulowitzki's name on a few giveaway shirseys. And by "a few" I mean, like, 15,000. But those numbers are inflated by the altitude, so at sea level it would be more like 14,000 shirseys, which was a result of totally not fictional complex mathematical calculations that  you don't need to see.

Inspired by a tweet Grant made — yes, that Grant — the guys at Cespedes Family BBQ tried to figure out what would happen if every team made a similar error. I think it was a missed opportunity not having a typo where instead of "Greinke" it says "Stupid Dickface" but hey, "Pug" is pretty good too.

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Four theories about Hall of Fame voting changes
The Hall of Fame recently announced some changes to the BBWAA elections, the most notable of which was reducing the number of years they had to vote a player into the Hall from 15 to 10 years. Joe Posnanski gives his take on why he doesn't think this was necessarily about keeping steroid users out, and he's almost convincing enough to make me forget my solipsistic worldview and admit that not everything is about me and the baseball team I enjoy.

ALMOST.

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With Big Data, Moneyball Will Be on Steroids
Now that the stats community has turned its attention to defense, Important Publications (and also Newsweek) are taking a look at how these new advances will affect the game. It turns out that most teams simply aren't equipped to handle the massive amount of defensive data that will soon be available. This is where I come in. "Excuse me, Mr Sabean? I've crunched the numbers. Dan Uggla [DRAMATIC PAUSE] is pretty bad." That should land me at least a six-figure salary, right?

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Billion-Dollar Billy Beane
FiveThirtyEight calculated how each major league team has performed relative to its payroll since 2000, and it turns out that the A's performance has been so good, they've gotten more than a billion dollars of production out of their roster beyond what they spent. To put that into context, if the A's had decided to stop being so cheap and signed eight Barry Zito contracts, and those players provided no value, it would have been really funny.

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SB Nation Reviews: Rodeos
My college had rodeos, but I don't think I ever went. This is a shame because now I don't know what topic to discuss with Madison Bumgarner that will immediately make us best friends.