clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

The Kickstarter for a Barry Bonds statue is silly

Unless you want to give the statue to me. Then it's legit.

If you buy something from an SB Nation link, Vox Media may earn a commission. See our ethics statement.

Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

First: I want to start a Kickstarter for a Barry Bonds statue. It would be eight feet tall and bronze and in my backyard. I would wake up every morning, get a cup of coffee, and bring a muffin out to it. "Mornin', Barry! Swat any dingers last night?" Then I'd sit under it and talk about things. Problems. Thoughts. Things.

Second: There's a draft of a Kickstarter to get Bonds a statue outside AT&T, and it's admirably silly. SF Gate fills us in.

"I mean, if Detroit can get one for Robocop, we should be able to get one for Barry," Simmons said.

I agree, there should be a statue. There's Mays, Marichal, and McCovey, and there's no history of the Giants without Bonds. Now it's just a matter of deciding how much you're going to donate.

Giants? You can have my answer now, if you like. My final offer is this: nothing. Not even the extra salary it would take to clean off the seagull doots, which I would appreciate if you would put up personally.

The Giants are a multi-million dollar business who will realize in the coming years that the absence of a Barry Bonds statue will make them look worse than the presence of a Barry Bonds statue. It'll happen. The tide will turn, and people will stop being reactionary dinks about the Steroid Era. They'll look out for things like "context" and realize that the offenders were wrong and damaging, but not evil and incomprehensible. Their contributions on the baseball field will be remembered fondly again because they happened. They happened, and people cheered. Fans of all 30 teams cheered dirty players, and there isn't one instance of a player coming back from a suspension and getting booed by his home crowd. History will show the users in a better light, not worse. Things will get progressively better.

Then the Giants will pay for their own damned statue.

They don't have one now because they don't want to ruffle feathers. They won't take one that's given to them and put it up, either, so I don't get the Kickstarter. Eventually, though, there will be fewer feathers to ruffle. Bud Selig's leaving, and he's the guy who's sensitive about that part of his legacy. When Commissioner Milano comes in, she won't care nearly as much. I don't know if the statue will happen in five years, 10 years, or 25 years, but it's going to happen. And it's our job to harangue the Giants until it does.

I want a Barry Bonds statue. I do not want to pay for a Barry Bonds statue. What do I get for a $15 contribution? Do I get a Barry Bonds Celebriduck rubber duckie?

Screen_shot_2014-07-22_at_8.31.17_am_medium

No? Then there are better ways to spend my $15 on Bonds, thank you.

Now build the statue yourselves, Giants.