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San Francisco Giants Link Dump, 7/18

Linky Madumpa, children at your feet, wonder how you manage to make ends meet

THIS MAN IS A WIZARD
THIS MAN IS A WIZARD
Jeff Curry-USA TODAY Sports

All the Real World News yesterday was super depressing! Let's not talk about that. Instead, let's talk about baseball.

The Curious Case of Mark Buehrle
Rany Jazayerli profiles Mark Buehrle, who has enjoyed great success over the first half of a year despite a zitonian fastball. How has Buehrle done it? While he's good at holding runners on, let's focus on the other part of this article: His defense. Mark Buehrle is an excellent defender for a pitcher. He has started 20 more double plays than an average pitcher over his career, meaning that Mark Buerhle . . . knows how to throw the ball to second to start a double play.

I don't normally want sports teams to kidnap and dissect opposing players, but in this case, I think it's warranted. For science. For America.

Star-divide

When did national baseball broadcasts cease focusing on the game?
FOX has this habit where they treat all their baseball broadcasts as Events, which means that they don't ever bother showing the actual baseball, because who cares about that crap? And for all the criticism the Giants' CSN broadcasts get around here for doing any in-game interviews at all, ever, they do a much better job of stepping aside for a moment to tell the story of the game before getting back to the other thing, so I find them much more tolerable. Except, of course, when they involve Michael Milken. Because he is a turd.

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Pitchman: How Tom Emanski forever changed the sport of baseball —€” and then disappeared
Fox Sports tells the story of the rise and sudden absence of noted Fred McGriff endorsee Tom Emanski. The best part is the outlandish rumors about him, like the IRS determining that he was worth $75 million, or that he lives on a private island outside Aruba with just his two dogs. I, for one, heard that whenever a kid would sulk about missing that garbage can from center field, Emanski would tell him, "Hey, that doesn't make you garbage" and then the whole team would get pizza.

Those other rumors were juicier.

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MLB, regional networks far apart in talks for local streaming rights
Are you a baseball fan who would like to pay Major League Baseball for the ability to watch local baseball games on your computer or tablet? Well shut up, no you don't, that's stupid, why would you even want that, stop being stupid, hey is that a cute puppy or something, jesus that idea was stupid, don't you understand nobody is making enough money off sports for that to happen, can't get over how stupid that is, go sit in the corner and think about yourself, specifically how stupid you are, you stupid.

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Activision sued by former Panama dictator Manuel Noriega over unauthorized Black Ops 2 appearance
Activision, you ruined Manuel Noriega's image. You must be ashamed of yourself.