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Well, uh, here's the good news: The Giants don't have another game in June, so this slump should end just as soon as they turn the page on that calendar. That's how this works, right? RIGHT?
Giancarlo Stanton will reportedly be in the Home Run Derby
This is a victory not just for the Home Run Derby, not just for the baseball fan, but for America. For too long, Giancarlo Stanton, predigious dinger hitter, has not been hitting dingers in the contest explicitly designed for people to hit dingers, probably because of communists, and now, finally, we as a nation can put this shameful portion of our past behind us.
Bat Flip Kings
While there have been many excellent bat flips this year, the field has seen a disappointing dearth of recent innovation, so the guys at Cespedes Family Barbecue took it upon themselves to invent some new ones. My personal favorite is The Field Goal, which hits the sweet spot where it's hilarious enough that I don't really care that the guy who actually did it in a game would have to be a Jeff Kent-level dick.
Brandon Belt makes good on home run promise for cancer survivor
Did you see this? You probably saw this. You must have seen it. Well, go see it again, because it's the greatest thing and totally justifies all the Belt-love around here that, intensity-wise, generally sits somewhere between Kettle Corn Man and Annie Wilkes.
The World of Catcher's Interference
Did you know that Roberto Kelly holds the single season record for reaching on catcher interferences with 8 in 1992? Why isn't he teaching this valuable skill to the hitters on the Giants? Doesn't Kelly want the Giants to have guys get on base? Selfish coaches obviously trying to protect their own hallowed records are a disgrace to baseball, and I can't believe the Giants would employ one.
Ejections on the rise this season in MLB
The Pierzynski story here is obviously the main draw. I can't imagine a whole lot of other catchers would have gotten thrown out for saying that, so this really confirms my controversial hypothesis that People Don't Like AJ Pierzynski. I hope that one day I can get a grant (punnnnnns) to study this hot scientific topic.
And in June! 2 months early!