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San Francisco Giants Link Dump, 6/13

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I asked her her name and in a dark brown voice she said Link Dump L-I-N-K Link Dump La-la-la-la Link dump

"That screwball idea is interesting, groug. Here's a lot of money."
"That screwball idea is interesting, groug. Here's a lot of money."
Kelley L Cox-USA TODAY Sports

It's Friday the 13th! Try not to get murdered by a guy in a hockey mask.

Now that I think about it, that's good advice every day.

Tim Hudson’s Evolving Arsenal
Fangraphs takes a look at the pitches that Tim Hudson throws and how they've changed over the years. I'm loath to suggest any changes, considering the season Hudson's having, but I think he could really use a screwball. How could any batter possibly see that coming? Just imagine being a right-handed hitter who expects a slider or a cutter, where the ball's moving away from you. Then suddenly, man the ball's breaking toward you! That would be a guaranteed out. I don't know why I'm not a pitching coach. I could revolutionize the game.

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Mr. Go: The Best Baseball Movie of the 21st Century
Every once in a while, a cinematic masterpiece comes along that redefines what it is to enjoy the medium of film. So it is with Mr. Go, a Korean movie about a gorilla that plays baseball. As wonderful as Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch was, did it have a gorilla hitting homers? It did not, and the world was poorer for it. Today, that wound starts to heal.

If you want to bring up Ed, then okay, but that was a chimpanzee playing baseball, which is totally different. How could a chimp play baseball? Makes no sense. Very implausible.

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Clickhole
The Onion has long been America's finest news source, and now they're expanding into the Upworthy Realm of the Internet. It's about time someone looked at Buzzfeed's model of business and merged it with a top-flight group of investigative reporters who aren't afraid to tackle the big issues. This is how the world changes, and I'm proud to be here for the revolution.

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Giants aren't tempted to call up second baseman Joe Panik
Despite the pressure put on by one Grant Frisbee the other day, the Giants have no intentions of calling up Joe Panik. It makes sense; his ISO is pretty bad in a hitter's league, and his defense is reportedly nothing special. On the other hand, Panik does have a batting average higher than .300, which is a round number, and therefore important. So, there are arguments on both sides. Lotta ins, lotta outs. Tough call.

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Meet Mike Hessman, a 400- home run minor leaguer
Mike Hessman is a minor league third baseman for the Toledo Mud Hens, the AAA affiliate for the Tigers. In his minor league career, he has 403 home runs. He's 36 and he just keeps playing, hoping for one more trip to the majors. If you remember the September callups from 2007 or 2008, he's a lot like Scott McClain, who had spent a lot of years toiling in the minors hitting dingers before earning his callup. And hey, maybe Hessman even has the power the Tigers are looking for.

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Cat Trots Like A Horse
SUP HATERS