San Francisco Giants Link Dump, 6/11

Good morning! The Giants have lost two games in a row so they're probably the worst team ever. It's a shame. I was just getting to like these guys.

Thanks for Asking…
Brandon Crawford takes fan questions on the Brandons blog. He didn't answer mine though.

Pretty uncool if you ask me.

Throwing Bats, Throwing Balls, and the Appropriate Punishment for Each
Sam Miller discusses Manny Machado's suspension and why it falls short. It turns out that the penalty for (probably) intentionally throwing your bat at a dude is half as long as the penalty for pine tar! Good thing they're nipping this important stuff in the bud. After all, pine tar is cheating and children watch this game! You have to teach the kids how to conduct themselves like professionals, and cheating is the absolute worst thing you can do.

The Allure of the Unknown
The Hardball Times talks about the legacy of players who never played in the majors like Josh Gibson and Hector Espino, and how those "What Ifs" can make players like Alfredo Despaigne irresistible. And it's easy to see why! Sometimes you get Yoenis Cespedes. Sometimes you also get Osvaldo Fernandez, but it's more fun to be excited, so let's not discuss that.

Looking for a quick dinner at Whole Foods when...
Don't get me wrong, I get the "All green" pun, but I just feel like kale isn't really Tim's thing. Maybe I'm wrong though. Maybe Hunter Pence has shown his the light. Maybe as Tim ages, he's learning that you can't eat like a college student forever. Or maybe it's just a sign at a Whole Foods and I'm overthinking it. No...no, there's MORE to this story. We just have to figure it out!

The Asylum | AGE OF TOMORROW
Occasional or possibly erstwhile McCovey Chronicles contributor Bill Hanstock wrote a movie that came out on video yesterday! It stars Evil Lady Wolverine from X2 and also The Doctor from Star Trek: Voyager. And considering that this is the man who brought us the Pablo Sandoval Fat Meter, you kinda owe it to yourself to check this out.

I made up a fake Donald Trump quote, and he retweeted it
This is the world's most perfect story.