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Yesterday was Memorial Day, and I hope you had a good one. By that I mean, I hope you did something besides watch the Giants.
A.J. Ellis of Los Angeles Dodgers put on 15-day disabled list after celebration mishap
The reason this link is here isn't because I'm exulting in my schadenfreude over this. I'm legitimately not. The thing that makes rivalries fun is when their team is at their best, and your team beats them because your team is morally and physically superior, which makes you as a fan morally and physically superior to fans of the other team. If a player is hurt, then the other team's fans get to use that as an excuse, which makes you as a Giants fan less superior. So, get better, AJ Ellis. And then be bad, so we can say people who root for you are bad.
Let's not discuss why he was celebrating, because that's not important and I didn't watch the game and let's engage in just enough solipsism to think that since I didn't watch the game, it didn't happen.
The Ten Greatest Baseball Uniforms of All Time
Yes, the WORLD'S CHAMPIONS ones are on here, but here's what I never noticed before: Those '70s Astros uniforms had the player's uniform number on the pants. That makes them so much worse, and as a fashion expert, let me explain why: They need to be bigger. Ideally, each digit of the number would take up one entire leg. Otherwise, it's simply impossible for the pants to match with anything. Any sartorial expert will tell you the same thing.
Hot trend: Position players pitching
On ESPN, the people behind You Can't Predict Ball takes a look at this year's hottest trend: Position players pitching. It's got everything: Jeff Francoeur, Lyle Overbay, Martin Maldonado. What's Martin Maldonado? It's that thing where...you take an odious catcher and an outfielder from the 80s and you insist they suck it while missing a foul ball.
Wow, that sounds DIRTY.
How to evaluate a hitter, sabermetrically
In case you came to this site for the Alex Sanchez jokes and Jack Handey references (I did!), and have become curious about all these advanced stats that the damn nerds here keep using in comments, here's a primer on them, using Buster Posey (That's a player on the Giants!) as a case study. It won't affect my method of evaluating a hitter, though, which is to base his expected performance on a combination of how often other people talk about him and how good he was the first time I ever heard of him. Pretty revolutionary stuff. Call me, Fangraphs!
Will Red Sox rebound? Are Blue Jays for real? A poll of MLB execs
Front office executives from 13 teams took a poll on what to expect from different teams that are either significantly outperforming or underperforming last year's record. They have good things to say about the Giants - 100% of the execs think they're for real! - and the Angels, who (if you haven't noticed) are playing extremely well. They are less positive about the Pirates, which is probably just a maneuver to make them open to trading Andrew McCutchen. I'M ONTO YOU, MLB EXECS. YOU'RE PLAYING CHECKERS AND I'M ALSO PLAYING CHECKERS BECAUSE CHESS MOVES ARE ILLEGAL IN CHECKERS.
Every Single Nicolas Cage Laugh
Because America needs this