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San Francisco Giants Link Dump, 5/20

Me dump Linkish? That's unpossible!

Not shown: Tyler Colvin being impaled by a bat because WHY WOULD I SHOW THAT
Not shown: Tyler Colvin being impaled by a bat because WHY WOULD I SHOW THAT
Jason O. Watson

As we get deeper into the season, off days seem to take longer and longer. I'm glad that the team got one, because I'm sure they needed it, especially heading into Coors, but no Giants makes my day worse.

Colvin was scared, but not scarred, after being speared by bat
From the Chronicle, it's Schulman's off-day story on Tyler Colvin, and his injury from 2010 when he was at third base and a FLYING BAT STABBED HIM IN THE TORSO JESUS CHRIST.

Ahem. Let me try that again. Back in 2010, when he was a rookie with the Cubs, Colvin was on third base in a game against (of course) the Marlins, and when one of his teammates hit a broken-bat double, the bat HIT HIM SO HARD THAT IT PUNCTURED A DAMN LUNG CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE THAT.

Okay. One more time. Hopefully I'll be able to get a few more words into the description before NOPE THEY LITERALLY HAD TO EVACUATE HIM BY HELICOPTER TO A HOSPITAL AFTER TEAMMATES NOTICED HIM BLEEDING NOPE NOPE NOPE WHY DOES ANYONE EVER DO ANYTHING HUMANS ARE TOO FRAIL EXISTENCE IS A FARCE WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE ONE DAY THIS JUST MAKES ME ANGRIER THAT I WATCHED HALF OF THE FIRST SEASON OF THE KILLING

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Short Features: Making the Field
The Giants grounds crew stars in an action-packed 9-minute film. You'll cry as you see the pitching mound taken apart. You'll cry again when it gets put back together, not any noticeably different. You'll cry a third time when you see the field totally barren, with no dirt or grass on it at all. You sure cry a lot. Maybe you should get that checked out.

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A Response to Bob Ryan
Boston Globe columnist Bob Ryan recently wrote a garden-variety anti-sabermetrics screed, and Dave Cameron responded to it on Fangraphs. The gist is that Ryan thinks that since the regular fans don't care about advanced stats, there's no point in writing about them, and Cameron's response is that the stats fans do care about are all media constructs, so why not have the media construct stats that do a better job of describing what happened? I think that everyone should just use VORP, based on the overwhelming evidence that saying "VORP" is fun.

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The Detroit Tigers wore Zubaz tiger suits for a road trip
If the Giants all dressed up as their team name, they would all be 30 feet tall or so, which would be a very uncomfortable plane ride. I can see why the Tigers started this trend, though ideally it would have been the Cubs or Diamondbacks, just in terms of weight. I shudder to think of the aerospace engineering required to make this work for the Rockies.

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10 Degrees: Dodgers and their crazy TV deal top MLB's biggest disappointments
Let's reflect on the fact that 70 percent of people in LA can't watch the Dodgers on TV because they signed a cable deal with Time Warner, and Time Warner's outrageous demands led to its competitors unanimously telling them to screw off. I don't really know how to feel about this. On the one hand, it's funny when bad things happen to the Dodgers because of their greed. On the other hand, they've been disappointing this year and I want as many of their fans to see that as possible. It's a moral quandary, and I don't have an answer.