San Francisco Giants Link Dump, 5/1

Don't let that repurposed quote fool you. The era of Big Link Dump is JUST BEGINNING.

Which free agents are living up to their contracts so far?
Michael Morse hits dingers, so he's living up to his contract! Ignore the defense and just revel in the dingers. Toss the dingers into the air and let them pour over your body. Fill a vault with dingers, and dive in, then blow up the Death Star with a dinger, and finally emerge seductively from a pool, taking your shirt off to reveal to young Judge Reinhold a pair of

The lesson here, as always is DINGERZ.

10 Lessons I Have Learned about Creating a Projection System
Dan Szymborski, creator of ZIPS and occasional MCC commenter (Hi, Dan! Maybe!), wrote on THT about the process of developing his projection system. He doesn't answer the most pressing question, though: Why can't someone develop a system that is 100% accurate and never fails and is impossible to apply incorrectly and makes cupcakes for you then delivers them through your USB slot? That seems like a real winner to me, and it's like no one else has ever thought of it. Do I have to do everything?

Luck is having Duane Kuiper as a hero
Maybe when you were a kid, your favorite baseball player was Will Clark. Great hitter, beautiful swing, very eloquent about his wait to reach the playoffs. Or maybe it was Barry Bonds. He hit a few dingers, stole a few bases, and was beloved by the media. Or maybe you go back further than that to Mays or you were the one who liked LeMaster, or Bobby Bonds captured your heart. Well, Joe Posnanski has you beat. His favorite player as a kid was Duane Kuiper, and since Duane Kuiper is the best person, he wins.

Chris Martin's Incredible Journey from Hardware Store Employee to MLB Pitcher
I know, I know, Bleacher Report, but still. It's gonna be fun when Disney makes a movie of this guy's life, and adds a Greek chorus of precocious 10-year olds to comment on everything he does. "Why are you here when I'm moving refrigerators?" Martin will ask. "You're very young. This is against safety regulations."

I'm not a good screenwriter.

Also, COLDPLAY ha ha ha that was funny conscious uncoupling okay that's out of the way good work everyone give yourselves a hand.

A Video Of Hamsters Eating Perfect, Tiny Burritos
I don't know what else you want from me. Baseball content? Were you looking for more baseball content? Fine. I mean, you're really missing out, but if you want another serious baseball link, I can do that too.

Dog Snatches Gloves Off Softball Team's Hands
Softball's close enough, right?