San Francisco Giants Link Dump, 4/4

MINOR LINES IS BACK MINOR LINES IS BACK MINOR LINES IS BACK

Miami Marlins Owner's Insane Book About Peanuts Will Melt Your Brain
This seems like the sort of thing the universe should not have allowed. But then, Jeffrey Loria's entire existence defies the laws of propriety, and is responsible for 19% of American atheists. So if you were wondering, "Is there anything worse than destroying the Expos and defrauding the city of Miami for his new ballpark that Loria is responsible for?" the answer is yes. He is responsible for the atheism subreddit.

The article is hilarious, though. You should click on it and read it.

GreenJackets preview briefs: Position players
The baby Baby Giants had their first game of the season last night, so why don't you get to know them a little? I mean, so did most of the other minor league teams, but stop quibbling. You should get to know them too, but we're focusing on Augusta right now, okay? Like, here is the preview for the pitchers. Now get to studying. There will be a test.

What to Eat at AT&T Park, Home of the Giants - Stadium Dining Guides - Eater SF
The article starts off by saying that you can't find crappy hot dogs or $8 macrobrews, which is obviously not true, but it does go on to detail the five best places to eat, only one of which is on the Club Level. Us commoners can eat at 80% of the best places in the ballpark. So take that, people rich enough to actually live in San Francisco!

Draft, International Values Increase By 1.7 Percent
Not that I want to go back to the A/B/C system, but this newish (as of the last CBA, anyway) format for draft compensation is not my favorite. I mean, why PAY the players anything when they get drafted? After all, when the prospects are in the minors they live like kings!

Making Advanced Stats Work For Baseball TV
I want a broadcast that puts advanced stats on the screen, but only if it doesn't actually add to anyone's understanding of the game and contributes to sabermetrics being further marginalized. My dream lineup would go like this: fWAR, bWAR, WARP, and R+RBI-HR. You know, the biggies.

TEST: NAME ONE POSITION PLAYER AND ONE PITCHER ON THE GREENJACKETS. NO LOOKING BACK AT THE LINKS. BE HONEST.

No No: A Dockumentary
Sure, Dock Ellis did that only thing you've ever heard of Dock Ellis for, but there was a lot more to him. This documentary about his life will be playing at the San Francisco Film Festival this month, and if you watch it, you'll be able to impress your friends who say "Wasn't there a guy who threw a perfect game on, like, shrooms or something?" with way, way more information than they could possibly remember.