Giants enjoy refreshing Coors Field, win 12-10

Had it all the way.

Think about how many annoying things that game featured. First, the setting. In the personification of annoying, Coors Field is at least a nostril. Then Rockies were blooping and blorping hits at just the right time, whereas the Giants kept hitting balls right at opposing fielders, especially with runners on base. There was an iffy strike call to kill a rally that got Bruce Bochy tossed. There was an iffy balk call to help tie the game for the Rockies that would have gotten Bochy tossed if he were still in the game. There were errors and misplays throughout. The Giants were 2-for-12 with runners in scoring position.

And behind the plate, there was a jackass in a purple dinosaur costume trying to take your attention away from baseball.

This could have been an all-timer, a wretched game that we'd bring up 10 years from now. As the game lurched into extra innings, my Twitter feed was basically an attempt to summon Ryan Spilborghs by saying his name into a mirror. This was going to be one of those games. Is that Neifi Perez's walk-up music? Bah god, I think that's Neifi Perez's walk-up music. Really, that joke works if he's coming up for either team, too. Every batter was Neifi Perez on both sides, at least with runners in scoring position.

Do you know what saved it? Dingers. Glorious, sweet dingers. The Giants hit six dingers for the first time since, well, September 4th last year. But it's just the 22nd time they've done it in franchise history. The Giants went from May, 1963 until September, 2000 without hitting six home runs in a game, so it's still freakishly rare. Though they've done it thrice in Colorado, so maybe not that freakish. It's almost like this Coors Field place is a horrible place …

Kneel before the dinger gods. Offer them a sacrifice. A burnt dinosaur made from purple felt, if you can manage it. For he is a false dinger god, and he will lead his people into ruin.

Boy, the Giants sure hit a lot of dingers in this game.

★★★

The default position of Hector Sanchez changes slightly.

Before

1. Hector Sanchez has talent and could develop into a good everyday player
   
   
2. That's less likely to happen when he's sitting on the bench four out of five days
   
   
3. The Giants should find a way to play Hector Sanchez every day, albeit not in the majors, because Buster Posey exists

After

1. Hector Sanchez has talent and could develop into a good everyday player
   
   
2. That's less likely to happen when he's sitting on the bench four out of five days
   
   
3. The Giants should find a way to play Hector Sanchez every day, albeit not in the majors, because Buster Posey exists
   
   
4. I would like to hug Hector Sanchez right now

Further updates as events warrant. I could see him becoming Miguel Montero in the right situation. You might think that's a lazy comparison based on nationality, position, and switch-hitting ability and … okay, you kind of have a point. But I still believe in Sanchez in the general sense. It's just frustrating to watch the bad games when they come.

The good games sure are a lot of fun, though. Wheeee. The good games sure are a lot of fun. Great work, Hector. Fantastic dingering.

★★★

Walt Weiss walked Joaquin Arias to load the bases intentionally for Sanchez. Weiss put his pitcher in a situation where he had to throw fastballs to Hector Sanchez if he got behind. He got behind. He threw fastballs. Don't walk the bases loaded to get to Hector Sanchez. Don't walk the bases loaded.

Oh, you can do whatever you want, Walt. I wasn't talking to you. You probably know what you're doing. I've never had a baseball card with a gold cup on it.

★★★

I'm not worried about Matt Cain, and you shouldn't be, either. He gave up hard-hit balls and two home runs, but he also got bled to death a little. And you know how bad people with bad arguments will say things like, "Look, if you take out his April and half of August, he was basically an MVP candidate!" about whatever player they're supporting? You can do that with Coors Field. That's not moving the goalposts. The goalposts have "GO AWAY COORS FIELD" written clearly on the sides. Always have.

Cain was the first Giants pitcher to allow seven earned runs and throw six innings since Matt Cain in 2013. Before that was Matt Cain in 2013. Before that was Matt Cain in 2010.

The last time a Giants pitcher threw eight innings and allowed seven earned runs was John Curtis. You didn't need to know that, but it gives me an excuse to leave this here:

★★★

Don't forget Nationals-hatted bro catching a Brandon Hicks double.

Ah ha ha, that is so far over the fence. So far.

Whaaaaaaaaaaat?

(Thanks to Marc Normandin for the GIFs!)

★★★

The Giants didn't score a run in this game that wasn't by way of a home run. They also hit as many home runs in this game as they hit from July 2 through July 30 last year. They're a home run away from their month-high total from last year, and there's a week left to play.

They have a way to go before they can match September, 2010, though.

★★★

Michael Morse allowed a ball to fall in front of him that Bengie Molina probably would have caught. Michael Morse also did this:

With 458 and 450-foot HRs today, Michael Morse became 1st player with 2 450+ HRs in same game since Mike Napoli in May 2013 at Rogers Centre

— ESPN Stats & Info (@ESPNStatsInfo) April 23, 2014

If this is the Michael Morse who sticks around all season, it's worth it. Good gravy, those balls were absolutely sent back through time and unborn. Opposite-field 450-foot shots are probably the best 450-foot shots.

★★★

You know it's a wild game when the Brandon Belt lead-changing dinger gets fifth-billing. Like to call him the human bingo card when he gets in a funk because he already has O-1 marked off.

Then he starts going goofy with the quick-bat dingers. He's the best, but even us fanboys and fangirls have to admit our frustration every so often. That was going to be today for me. Then, kerboom. That ball went a long, long way.

★★★

I have troubles believing the Giants won that game.