Congratulations to Albert Pujols for hitting his 500th home run. If only that achievement gave me an excuse to link a video where Barry Bonds does something good against the Dodgers. If only...
Gwynn: 'I'm doing good'
The Hall of Fame outfielder has had to step away from his duties coaching baseball at San Diego State to focus on his cancer treatment. He says things are going well, and I think we all earnestly hope that's true.
When I was in college at Cal Poly, I went to a game against SDSU when Gwynn was head coach. We tried to heckle him, but we just couldn't. "YOU WERE REALLY GOOD AT GOING THE OTHER WAY," we yelled, trying to be scathing. "YOUR PLATE APPROACH IS AN EXAMPLE TO HITTERS EVERYWHERE."
Rate the local MLB announcers – NL West
Awful Announcing's fan announcer ratings come to the NL West, and perhaps you have a strong opinion on the quality of the announcers for one of these teams? Anyway, I'm certainly not suggesting you go to this link and spam them with votes for the Giants broadcasters, because Giants fans would never engage in those kinds of shenanigans.
Fridge Raider: Giants' Brandon Belt
How did I never realize that generic chocolate pudding was the most Brandon Belt food possible? It's simple, it's sweet, children eat it, and it has no nutritional value whatsoever. The only thing less surprising than that in this article is that he thinks zucchini and cucumber are "crazy things" to put in a salad. I can only imagine how he'd react to something as exotic as romaine lettuce.
Fresno Grizzlies' prized pitcher Edwin Escobar flashes skills
Edwin Escobar didn't have a very good spring training, and his first few starts for Fresno weren't especially effective either. But after he Fixed His Mechanics, Escobar had a great start against Reno. Now, obviously, this is all moot, since the rotation is performing so well 1-5, but just in case something unexpected happens, it's good to have depth. And hey, even if there isn't an opening on the pitching staff, Escobar could be part of a package to bring back a Morneau-type hitter.
Jose Fernandez, one of a kind
Your day can always use more Jose Fernandez facts. So here are a few that didn't get covered in the article:
- Jose Fernandez had to dive into the ocean and pull his mother out when they were defecting from Cuba
- Jose Fernandez considers his grandmother Olga to be "the love of [his] life" and it's somehow not creepy
- Jose Fernandez always thought Chuck Norris facts were pretty stupid
A Day in the Life: Hunter Pence
Hunter Pence opens the door, holding a jar of honey. "This is human food, no?" He takes a sip. The interviewer, Chris, gives him a look. "Ha ha, this is...coffee."
Pence shows Chris his upstairs. "This is space I use for reading, like a human does."
Pence discusses his fear of cold water. Chris asks about it. "Why are you afraid?" Pence freezes up. He can't say that his species has a fear of cold water because on his planet the oceans were ceded to their only natural predator. "Shrinkage," Chris triumphantly proclaims. Who would just say that out loud? Pence thinks. What a weirdo.