Matt Cain perfect again, cained again

Matt Cain threw five perfect innings, striking out seven. Your opinions of spring training are meaningless on this day. When Cain pitches this well, pay attention, dang it. His second-half ERA last year was 2.36, and that's about what we should expect for the whole year, give or take. Maybe 1.36, using today as evidence.

The bullpen blew the game, of course. Spring wins are especially useless, even when compared against other useless spring statistics. But there's something about Jeremy Affeldt blowing a Cain win. Midseason form, chaps. Let's just skip to June and argue about All-Star selections. Rooting for Joe Panik to make the final vote against Zack Wheeler, but only because I'm a poet.

Let's recall last year's spring from the staff:

Tim Lincecum
Spring performance: Awful
Meaning: Significant!

Madison Bumgarner
Spring performance: Brilliant
Meaning: Significant!

Matt Cain:
Spring performance: Eh
Meaning: Some

Barry Zito
Spring performance: Excellent
Meaning: None

Ryan Vogelsong
Spring performance: Excellent
Meaning: None

So either Cain's brilliant spring so far has a lot of meaning or it doesn't have any, unless the truth is somewhere in the middle. Only three weeks until real baseball, everyone.

Happy fun facts

• Pablo Sandoval had another two hits. The first person to mention "contract year" gets punched in the panda. He was just taking time off from being so awesome.
• Matt Cain
• Matt Cain
• Matt Cain

Grist for the pessimist mill

• Computer, show me the most depressing bullpen related image you have:
  

  Thank you, computer. That will do.

The story was Cain, and it was a story with a peerless beginning, middle, and end. Happy fun facts move to 9-1 on the season, all because of Matt Cain.

Matt Cain.