He jammed the key in my palm and closed my fingers.
"Keep this. Know you are the one. Do not trust anyone."
His robe whipped around his ankles as the wind growled. He never broke eye contact, his eyes a molten grey, flecked with desperation.
"On a day where the heavens open up and rain pours down onto dry earth, your favorite actor will perish. Your least favorite band will appear shirtless in the halftime show of a Super Bowl your least favorite team will dominate. These are your three signs. When you see these three signs, you must take this key to the elders on top of Mt. Tsilix. Then, and only then, will we have a chance to repel the usurpers from beyond."
He turned and sprinted into the mist, gone forever. I looked at the key, then made a fist and clutched it to my heart. And then I put the key ...
I could have sworn I put it ...
Well, crap. This was, like, six years ago.
It's probably in a drawer. But I do not have time for this today.
Also, I had brussel sprouts for dinner last night. Somewhere in the afterworld, dozens of demons are missing their nipples. Just a lousy day.
But there's news! From Hardball Talk, which makes me a fourth-hand source:
According to a report from Korean news service SBS, as translated by Dan Kurtz at MyKBO.net, free agent right-hander Suk-Min Yoon had a throwing session in front of Orioles and Giants scouts this past Friday at the University of California-Irvine.
The last pro international free agent the Giants actually signed: Osvaldo Fernandez. Don't worry, this whole "international baseball" thing is a fad. Just wait for it to blow over.
Here's why Yoon didn't get anything close to the Tanaka treatment:
Yoon dealt with a shoulder injury in 2013, about which not much is known publicly. Jee-ho Yoo of the Yonhap News Agency tells me the injury "seemed serious."
Oh. The Orioles will give failing grades to a physical if the player has a toothache, but there are four other teams that have reportedly made an offer. If you're looking for stats, you can find them here. If you're looking for context for those stats, I can't help you. I don't know if teams average 12 runs a game in the KBO or four. But he was supposedly a big deal before the shoulder problem.
The Giants aren't looking for another starter, per se, but they're looking for insurance. Yoon would be the new Petit, who was the new Gaudin, who was the new Mota. It's hard to see him getting too exciting about competing for a bullpen spot with the Giants, even if there's opportunity in 2015.
It's probably not going to happen. You'll get your Hudson-and-Morse offseason and like it. But there's one interesting enigma left on the market, and the Giants just watched him pitch. That's something, alright.