Barry Bonds, special instructor to Giants hitters

Well. This is dandy news. From Alex Pavlovic of the Mercury News, we learn that Barry Bonds is going to be in Scottsdale, helping Giants hitters get better at hitting:

Barry Bonds is scheduled to return to the organization in March, this newspaper has learned, serving as a special instructor for the Giants' hitters.

...

"He's part of what we'll do here," manager Bruce Bochy said. "He's going to be part of the group of instructors, like (Will) Clark, (J.T.) Snow or (Jeff) Kent. He's going to be like the other guys and help where he can.

I wonder how many runs the 2009 Giants would have scored if they had Bonds, Clark, Snow, and Kent. Missed opportunity. But of all the familiar names and faces, no one brings the optimism like Barry Bonds. In fact, let's call this the Greater Hitting Coach Theorem:

1. It is extraordinarily easy to overestimate the effect of a hitting coach, at least when compared to the average hitting coach.

2. Unless that coach is Barry Bonds, who is a damned genius.

So the Giants are an excellent offensive team now? Let's not go crazy, now, but, yes, probably. They're probably going to be the best-hitting team in the league because Barry Bonds is going to whisper into the young hitters' ears, like Gandalf whispers to the moth, and they're going to get hitting. Really get it. It will seem so easy that they'll drop their shoulders after every home run, disgusted that the pitcher gets to claim the same profession on his tax forms.

Or, maybe not. But at least Bonds will be around in the spring if Mark McGwire tries his nonsense again. Matt Williams was the mid-level boss, but Bonds is the end-game boss. Here's hoping for at least one spring pusharound, just to see what happens.

Now let's post links to Barry Bonds-related videos.