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San Francisco Giants Link Dump, 12/8

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HOT JON LESTER NEWS: There is no Jon Lester news

Like this, but on a river
Like this, but on a river
Jo Caird/Getty Images

I haven't dumped links in a while, so they've been piling up. I can't stand the clutter. Time to do something about it.

Jobs, Pacific Coast League
There are a lot of good jobs available with the Sacramento River Cats, the new AAA affiliate of the Giants. But obviously, clearly, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the most important one is the chance to be their mascot, Dinger. Now, ordinarily I wouldn't even show this to you. I'd just SWOOP and take the job myself, because I would be an excellent Dinger and would dedicate my life to shaming the Rockies' Dinger into stopping because I was so much less terrible at being Dinger. Just stopping. He needs to stop.

Sadly, I don't do well in the heat, so I have to pass this opportunity on to you. Make us all proud, Rando Internet Person. Make us proud.

Star-divide

Bizarre Baseball Culture: "CHALLENGE OF THE HEADLESS BASEBALL TEAM!"
Who here likes old comic books about fictional baseball teams facing invisible aliens out to destroy the world? Actually, no, dumb question. Who doesn't like that? If that premise isn't appealing to you, then I don't understand what you even want from anything, at all, ever.

Star-divide

The Weirdest Cuban Baseball Defector Story You'll Ever Read
I really should link to VICE Sports more, but SB Nation has a widget to make link dumps easier, and that widget doesn't know how to handle VICE for some reason, which means I have to manually type in the title and copy the link, and who has time to do that? Certainly not me.

Now that I've established why I'm bad at my job, let's talk about Yoan Moncada. People around here tend to fall into two camps about Moncada:

1. GIMME GIMME GIMME
2. GIMME GIMME GIMME

There are differences somewhere, but they tend to fall into "Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?" territory, so I don't pay too much attention.

This is the story of how Moncada came into the country. Does Scott Boras show up and act like a dick? Absolutely! Is there a SECRET LOVE CHILD involved? You're damn right there is! Despite those things, is the title still an exaggeration? Yeah, a little bit. Is the gimmick of asking myself questions and then answering them getting tiresome? Probably!

Star-divide

Panda Hats for the Homeless
Well, Pablo's really gone, and as we turn our lonely eyes to Chase Headley (woo woo woo), people who bought now-useless panda hats can do something nice and donate them to the homeless. OR, if you have one, you could play the market. Don't we all half-expect a 270-pound shell of a Panda to come back in 2020 and help the Giants win the World Series? Just go to Public Storage, throw your panda gear in with your still-good Barry Zito commemorative avocado and that limited edition Professor Xavier Nady wheelchair doll, and wait. It'll be useful again.