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Chase Headley rumors update

The Giants just got engaged with him, and now they're being aggressive.

Metaphor? Probably a metaphor.
Metaphor? Probably a metaphor.
Christopher Hanewinckel-USA TODAY Sports

Report: The Giants are interested in Chase Headley.

The Giants' temporary starting third baseman over at Roster Resource is Marco Scutaro. I'll be honest: I hadn't thought of that. There was a post here about the bench recently, and Scutaro's name didn't appear once. I'm not sure if I should apologize or if it goes without saying. The last limbo-besotted infielder like this was Freddy Sanchez, who is still on assignment.

The Giants probably aren't counting on Scutaro to start. But that would mean they're counting on Joaquin Arias to start, which would be ... interesting. Unless they're counting on Matt Duffy to start, which would be really cool, so long as he combined with Joe Panik to hit .330 over 1,200 plate appearances (3 HR). The Giants likely aren't counting on any of those three options. The Giants might be internally panicking about those three options.

Which brings us back to those reports. On Saturday, here was the scuttlebutt:

Those jerks. Last week they were engaged with him, and now they're getting aggressive? What gives them the right, you know?

It's something of a truism by this point that Headley has a four year, $65 million offer from someone, so it would follow that a team GETTING AGGRESSIVE with Headley -- I'm picturing Larry Baer cornering Headley at the Winter Meetings like something from the horrible/amazing Aphex Twin video -- would have to beat that offer. Four years, $65 million is juuuuuuust about the tipping point of reason already. Anything more gets super freaky.

Not so fast, though. There's more scuttlebutt.

Got it. So the team with the $65 million offer is one of the lame teams. As in, the Giants can swoop in with their fancy car and flashy rings, like the cool, jerkish boyfriend from an '80s movie -- "C'mon, Brenda. Let's go." -- and hope Headley is impressed. I'll guess the offer is from the Rockies, just because they're weird like that, and they'd move Nolan Arenado to catcher.

This weekend update is good news. The Giants want a talented hitter (good) but they're not so crazy about him that they'll give him a contract they'll regret instantly (better). As exciting as Jon Lester would be for a couple seasons, getting Headley, Melky Cabrera, and, dunno, Brandon McCarthy for a similar price would be absolutely fantastic. Also note that an anagram for "Chase Headley" is "Shady ache eel," which is somewhat ominous until you think of the hats. The Eel hats will pay for themselves.