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Jon Lester reportedly choosing between Red Sox, Cubs, Giants this week

Will he pick the Giants, Cubs, Red Sox, or the ~~~MYSTERY TEAM~~~?

Steven Bisig-USA TODAY Sports

The Giants, being the natural enemy of scoops in the wild, are being tight-lipped about their pursuit of Jon Lester. We know that Bruce Bochy ditched out on a duck-hunting trip to a) deliver inspirational grumbles to Lester and b) get away from that damned laughing dog. We know that the Giants are interested. Yet in a new state-of-the-Lester piece from Sean McAdam, there's a standalone sentence toward the beginning:

The nature of the Giants' offer for Lester is unknown.

Ominous. The terms of the offer, the money, the years, or ... the nature? It might be in the form of an astral projection. It might be in pennies or Garbage Pail Kids. Or it might be for $300 million and Lester is just making them sweat in the hopes they bump it to $315 million.

In the same piece, though, McAdam conveys the perception that the Giants are on the fringes of the Lester madness:

While the Giants can't be dismissed -- they've won three World Series in the last five years and offer a pitching-friendly ballpark -- many in the industry view Lester's choice coming down to the Cubs and Red Sox.

That makes me think of the charming ditty "Freaks of the Industry," which makes the third reference that dates me within the first 225 words. Cool.

So the Giants' offer is unknown, but the perception is that they're third-place finishers. There are also mystery-team rumblings, which is what I've been guessing the whole time. What I can't figure out is if the Giants are perceived to be out of it because no one has any information on their offer, or if they're perceived to be out of it because it's common knowledge that he's engaging a lot more with the Cubs and Red Sox.

Or maybe all of these stupid rumors are ... no, no. It's not the offseason that's at fault here. It's us. We're the problem.

The Cubs are said to have six years, $138 million on the table. The Red Sox are supposedly offering six years, $130 million. Both of those totals make the inside of my skin itch. On the other hand, Lester would look really, really good in a Giants uniform next year. On the other hand, the deal will be a disaster, and everyone knows that. In five years, Lester will be throwing with his right arm because his left arm was recalled by the manufacturer. Whatever team that has him will think, "Boy, I sure wish we weren't paying that guy." If the Giants get him, he'll be the unspoken reason the Giants aren't going after Wil Myers or Zack Wheeler or something in a few years.

On the other other hand ... Bumgarner/Lester/Cain/Hudson/Other. Maybe the odd year is the real boss level, and the Rangers, Tigers, and Royals were just mini-bosses. Maybe we don't need Ramon Martinez to hit .300 in 2016.

Horrixciting, everyone. These rumors are awfuntresting. The Giants might be on the periphery of the discussions, but they're also the true mystery team because no one knows what in the heck they're actually doing, which is a very, very Giants trait.

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