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Rumor: Pablo Sandoval and Red Sox are hot, heavy

Oh, come on. It hasn't even been a week.

Ed Szczepanski-USA TODAY Sports

Tuesday is the first day that players can negotiate freely with other teams. It's also the first day of silly season. Is there anything worse than silly season? I submit there is not. Look at this silly rumor about Pablo Sandoval and the Boston Red Sox:

Google Translate does a good job with this one:

SOURCE: Pablo Sandoval could be arriving at an agreement with #RedSox 5 years and $ 100 MM

I want to ignore this and block anyone who retweets it into my timeline ... except, this fellow has been right before. He had Rusney Castillo to the Red Sox before anyone else, and he had the numbers right. So, reluctantly, maybe there's some fire to this smoke.

Except it's the first day of free agency. The first day Sandoval can negotiate with teams other than the Giants. There are deceptions and counterploys and subterfuges and cloaks to dagger. There are chances for Sandoval's agent to play the Red Sox off the Dodgers before playing them off the Giants before playing the Giants against the Giants to make the Giants give up more money than a team that doesn't really exist. The only way it makes sense for Sandoval to sign on the first day of free agency is if he knows a comet is going to end life on the planet, and he wants an extra $20 million for the best end-of-the-world ice swan he can commission for his end-of-the-world party.

Chris Cotillo is here to calm our jittery nerves:

I'd be surprised if Sandoval's agent has progressed past the voicemail stage for any non-Giants team. It's early, man. It's early.

Also, that 5/$100 million seems low. That would be good news, because I'd figure the Giants would be right there to match or best the offer. The Giants are still doing the Huell move, lying on the stack of money the World Series made them. Don't make them get up yet. That's just rude.

Pablo Sandoval still might sign with the Red Sox. I can't imagine him doing it this soon. I can't imagine him signing with anyone within the month, Giants or otherwise.