San Francisco Giants holiday gift guide

It's the holiday season and you have things to buy for people who won't appreciate them. About 70 percent of the gifts you buy will be forgotten in less than a week. You would be much better off putting the money straight into the bottom of people's closets. Maybe they'll actually find it and appreciate it one day.

At least, that's how it usually goes. Not in even years, though! You can buy so much Giants crap right now. Most of it has that delightful logo with the bridge on it.

I like the everything about that logo. The words, the colors, and the everything. You can buy so much delightful stuff with that logo on it and give it to other people. This truly is the best holiday season since the one two years ago, and the one two years before that. As such, it's time for the first ever McCovey Chronicles Holiday Gift Guide of Giants-Related Stuff You Probably Need. The goal is to round up a bunch of Giants-related stuff you probably need. Here goes.

This Travis Ishikawa poster

It's Travis Ishikawa! When I first brought these posters to your attention, there were a few folks who told me that they would need to see if the Giants won the World Series before they bought one. Well, lookie there, the Giants won the World Series, and one of the most iconic moments was Ishikawa's pennant-winning home run. There's no Scott Spiezio at the end of this Kenny Lofton rainbow.

★★★

This book

From the promo email I got:

Champions Together is available exclusively from the Giants on www.sfgiants.com/wsbook through the holidays and will not be sold in any bookstores or on Amazon.com.   It includes a foreword by Bruce Bochy, introduction by Jeremy Affeldt and an essay by acclaimed baseball writer Roger Angell about Madison Bumgarner titled:  The Best.

Currently on my coffee table: wet paper towels, an empty bottle of milk, and 509 Sandra Boynton books. One day, I'll have room for this, though. One day. I hope I get to read the Roger Angell essay, at least. The stepson of the guy who wrote Charlotte's Web wrote an essay on Madison Bumgarner winning the World Series for the Giants. Isn't that a delightful sentence?

★★★

Ballpark Blueprints

Remember when people were complaining that the Giants designed the park just so Barry Bonds could have a short porch and pad his chances to set the home run record? Those people were stupid. This blueprint poster reminds me of that for some reason.

★★★

These shirts

Oh, say, that's right. I actually get money from these. So go here and buy six of the Yes! Yes! Yes! shirts before you buy anything else on this list. There's also this baby:

The Madison Bumgarner one is out of print, unfortunately. Told you to buy one three weeks ago and you lollygagged.

★★★

This other shirt

I mean ... it's pretty cool. It would pair nicely with that one up there. (Natto gets the $$$ for this one, and I'm pretty sure he's actually the guy who started SalesForce, FYI. But whatever.)

★★★

The World Series Blu-rays

I was watching bits of the 2010 World Series film today, and a few things stuck out:

• Rob Schneider did excellent narration, and he has a much smoother voice than he has a right to
• Brian Wilson's pitch to Ryan Howard is still the best pitch I've ever seen
• There's a clip of Aaron Rowand acting goofy and Eugenio Velez dying laughing, and it's incredibly charming
• I don't recognize that team anymore, and it's freaky

That last part is probably worth a post this offseason. There's something beautiful and unsettling in watching Freddy Sanchez making great plays. It really wasn't that long ago, right?

★★★

This sweater

I sort of want one. I really, really, really want one. Will you buy me one? Better yet, if you buy 20 of those shirts up there, I can buy myself one. That's probably the way to go.

They're out of stock for now, but keep refreshing the page. Keeeeeep refreshing the page.

★★★

A coin with Madison Bumgarner's face on it

Why would ...

Who would ...

To all the single folks out there who might go on a date in the near future: Buy this coin, then try to use it as payment at a fancy restaurant on your first date. Put it in the little spot reserved for credit cards, and close the cover. Don't get mad when they refuse it: Act like they're turning down a $100 bill. If you record this, I will consider it for a FanShot.

Also, as long as we're talking about Bum coins, we might as well watch this:

★★★

Update: This amazing print

I couldn't see this one and not update the guide. That's every game since Opening Day, including the dejecting ones like the awful Rockies series that cost Sergio Romo millions and millions of dollars, and It's beautiful. It makes me miss Pablo Sandoval a bit too much, but we'll get over it.

★★★

This guy's underwear

The shipping is free.

Please share your gift ideas in the comments because, well, I need ideas. I'm counting on you.