San Francisco Giants Link Dump, 11/13

Moderately interesting baseball moves happened yesterday. Victor Martinez re-signed, and there were a couple of trades. This is it. This is what we get. The offseason sucks.

Barry Zito, 36, looking to make comeback after year away
ZITOOOOOOOOOO

I hope he signs with an organization I don't have to root against. Obviously, a lot of the more odious teams are out; the Dodgers and Yankees and Red Sox aren't going to touch him, except at Money Club, where rich people all get together to bet on whose thousand dollar bill will burn fastest. But some AL Central club would be perfect. If the White Sox or Indians or Twins were to sign him, then oh God it's gonna be the Twins, huh. Declining veteran with a low strikeout rate . . . enjoy Minnesota, Barry. I hope you like either Prince or being cold all the time.

Former SJ Giants Playing Winter Ball
How are Giants farmhands doing in winter leagues? Pretty well, generally. A lot of these guys aren't even the sexy names on prospect lists, but they're still doing real good jobs in Venezuela. So, good on you, Mark Minicozzi and Cody Hall, Jack Snodgrass and Chris Dominguez. You're all doing a good job playing baseball, which works out well, since you're all professional baseball players. Lucky break!

Yomiuri Giants Game 2013
Sure, we've all heard of the San Francisco Giants, but did you know that oh I see you anticipated the end of this sentence and preemptively said yes well aren't you special. But what's it like to go go to a Yomiuri Giants game? How is the experience different from American baseball? Do they throw the ball with their feet? Do fans who catch foul balls get to be on the team for a day? Do they silently look down on American baseball fans who incessantly ask stupid questions? I hope not. I prefer to be scorned audibly.

As Selig Prepares Exit, Clemens Case Sticks Around
Remember all the Roger Clemens legal shenanigans from a few years ago? Remember how you just kinda assumed they'd settled or the case had been dismissed or one of the attorneys was actually Satan and there was a whole bunch of weird nudity and then a reset button and you're not completely sure what happened? Well, it's still going on, and it could go to trial during the 2015 season. This is the first time I've felt sad that Selig won't be commissioner, just because I want him to make himself look silly during the trial. As it is, he should be forced to sit in the courtroom the whole time. Just for funsies!

Seattle Seahawks Busted For Selling Watered Down Beer
But don't worry, that crowd noise record is totally legit. The only stadium employees who bend unimportant rules are the ones who work at the concession stands.