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San Francisco Giants Link Dump, 10/9

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Your Cadillac has got a wheel in the dump and a wheel on the link

I don't know what this picture is, but I like it
I don't know what this picture is, but I like it
Ezra Shaw

Don't take this to mean I'm not desperate for more baseball, but it was nice to have a day off from the stress. Just some nice, relaxing, low-level Cardinals hate to prepare me for the NLCS. Feels good, man. Feels good.

Ugly win looks good to Giants
I like it when the Giants win at all, but what I really want is for them to win eight more games this year, each one uglier than the last. Like, one game can feature the Giants scoring five runs on three errors in one inning, and the next can have the Cardinals get runners all over the bases who can't keep from committing unforced TOOTBLANs, and in the next game they'll start Bartolo Colon. Just, you know, ugly.

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Sean Doolittle Appreciation Day
Did you know that not only will people on the Internet sometimes show their dicks, but they'll also be dicks? And nowhere is this more true than in the world of sports, because it's equally true there as it is everywhere else online, which means it isn't more true elsewhere, so yeah, I just technicalitied my way out of that one. And yet, despite the presence of people here of people who use the Internet, this is a heartwarming and beautiful story. Go figure!

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Jairoctober: The Nation's Newspapers
Did you go over to the Fanposts and look at this yesterday? Because if not, then you should know that TheLetter2, as he does for every Giants postseason series win, put together a collection of newspaper front pages reporting on the victory. I think my favorites are the two LA papers that show Puig dejectedly walking away as the Cardinals celebrate behind him. This is apparently because I enjoy Dodger pain more than my own happiness, which I'm just now discovering. This worries me.

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Here's what the 'pace of play' clock looks like

EXT AT&T PARK - NIGHT

A group of SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS are gathered around the mound.

BELT
Hey, c'mon man, we all believe in you. Next meal at the OG's on me.

PANIK
Don't call it that.

POSEY
Just get out there, make your pitches, and we'll get outta here and figure out what's bothering you.

RIGHETTI
You can do this. I know you can do this.

In the center, JUAN GUTIERREZ stares up at them, tears in his eyes.

GUTIERREZ
You don't understand.

He stares up at the PACE OF PLAY CLOCK, tears in his eyes.

GUTIERREZ (CONT'D)
I can barely throw the ball within 30 seconds, much less 20. It's too much stress!

RIGHETTI
You just need to learn to relax. You need . . . zen.

SMASH CUT TO:

BARRY ZITO, wearing SUNGLASSES, eating an AVOCADO with a SPOON, on a YACHT. His cell phone rings.

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Daughters And Ballgames
I don't think I've linked The Classical here in one of these here link dumps, which is shameful. Like, read this article. It's perfect. It's utterly perfect. I should link to it every day, but I won't because they make it hard to make dick jokes. Excelsior!