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San Francisco Giants Link Dump, 10/3

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Written in the links, a million dumps away

SOMEONE's looking extra dreamy today!
SOMEONE's looking extra dreamy today!
H.Darr Beiser-USA TODAY Sports

The first game of The Real Playoffs is this afternoon. If the Giants don't win, it'll be because you weren't a good enough fan. No pressure, though.

The Giants-Nationals rematch that never was
Was it destiny for the Giants and Nationals to meet in the playoffs? Consider this: This almost happened before but then it didn't. If that doesn't smack of a fate foretold before the first dinosaur terrorized Pangaea, I don't know what does.

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Video: Pence's custom handshakes
If I were more technically savvy and had better facial recognition skills and were funnier, I would gif and rank every handshake in this video, and write an article about it. That would be a good article, wouldn't it? Like, evaluating the artistry in the Pence-Arias handshake against the delayed gratification of the Pence-Ishikawa one? That sounds fun.

Now that your appetite is whetted for it, let me remind you that this article will never ever happen.

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A Comparison Between the Wild Card Games
Did you know that while the AL Wild Card game was a fantastic game, full of drama, triumph, and heartbreak, the NL Wild Card game was fairly boring? Obviously, as Giants fans, we all enjoyed it just fine, but objectively, as a game, it was not that great. Here, Jeff Sullivan takes a look at how exciting the games were by analyzing the average Leverage Index for each game's at bats. If the AL game was as tense as a boss battle in Dark Souls, the NL game was more like running over a guy in Grand Theft Auto, then backing up and running over him again for like four straight minutes. They're both fun in their own way!

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What Happens to the Cuban Baseball Players Who Never Make It?
We all know the harrowing stories of the Puigs and Cespedi, and the ordeals they or their families go through after defecting. But we can tell ourselves it's all worth it because they Made It in baseball, and now have lots of money that they can spend on items, which is the whole point of America in the first place. So what happens to the guys who defect and never get signed? Do they pull themselves up by their own bootstraps to become political commentators who explain how "pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps" is actually a satirical phrase about doing an absurdly impossible action? You'll have to read to find out!

Also, no, they don't.

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Staggered Rotations and Postseason Win Probabilities
I actually wonder about this kind of thing reasonably often – If Kershaw's pitching against Bumgarner, why not just push Bumgarner back a day and get him a more favorable matchup that way? It turns out that, in addition to violating the unwritten rules of sporting competitiveness, it's a pretty bad idea, which is a shame. I was planning on being angry on the Internet about Bruce Bochy not doing it. Now I have to find something else to complain about. If only some heroic commenter could help me out!

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Tim Hudson on Madison Bumgarner: "he goes out there and sticks it right up your butt"
This is the choice of words that brought me the greatest possible happiness.