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Giants release second-half promotional schedule

Only because I'm a completionist, here are the second-half promotions for the Giants in 2014. You can find a write-up of the first-half promotions here, in which we speculated about what the Hunter Pence bobblehead would look like. The result was pleasant, which is still something of a letdown.

The rest of the promotional calendar, put into arbitrary categories:

Gimme gimme gimme

July 13 - Angel Pagan bobblehead
They put sunglasses over Hunter Pence's eyes, robbing our children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren of something special. But Pagan has sleeper crazy-eyes. There's a chance to atone, and I'm looking forward to it.

August 31 - Star Wars day (with R2D2 beanie)
If it's just an R2D2 beanie, I'm not that juiced. You can find those. But I'm assuming it's Giants-related in some capacity, so I'll need one. Not desire. Need. Because I'm running out of ways to express my nerdery. Except for all of the ways. But this will help. It would be a hat to say "ask me about Toshi's and womprats!" at the same time it says "ask me about William Van Landingham!"

I'm already married, but I'm pretty sure a Giants-related R2D2 beanie would have netted me a ladyfriend if I were still on the market. Wear that baby to the club, dress codes be damned, and watch the action and reaction.

Not my cup o' Joe

July 12 - Dave Dravecky pin
Not because I have anything but respect for Dravecky, but because there are two kinds of people in this world: pin people and bobblehead people. You can say you like both. It's like that deleted scene from the Pulp Fiction script:

For example, there’s two kinds of people in the world: Beatles people and Elvis people. Now, Beatles people can like Elvis, and Elvis people can like the Beatles. But nobody likes them both equally. Somewhere, you have to make a choice, and that choice tells me who you are."

It's like that, but with pins and bobbleheads. And I will not rest until the rivers run red with the blood of the pin people. I will drink mead from a chalice made from their skulls. Also, I'm just not into pins. I'm a bobblehead man.

August 17 - Giants trading card day
please tell my mom to stop dropping my old baseball cards off at my house we're running out of room please hellllllp

August 30 - Orange & black top hat






Nope. Going with "nope."


July 27 - Orange sunglasses
These will help keep the sun out of your eyes.

July 26 - Re-usable grocery bag presented by MLB Network
This will help you carry groceries from the store to your home.

August 16 - Virgin America 2-for-1 flight voucher
This is good for when you want two tickets but only want to pay for one.

And there are all of the special events, too, like Metallica Night, Jerry Garcia Tribute Night, and Oktoberfest. There's a Willie McCovey 1969 MVP bobblehead that I'll tase people for, and that's for African-American Heritage Night. The full list for all the promotions and special events are here.

I want to see the R2D2 beanie. Please show me the R2D2 beanie. I demand the R2D2 beanie.