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I mean, you don't get Cathy-level AAAAACK more than, what, three or four times a year? You have it here. The Dodgers are giving away a Brian Wilson bobblehead at Dodger Stadium.
Look, I want to pretend I don't care either. When the 2010 World Series happened, I had one kid, and she could barely talk. Now I have two kids, and the one who could barely talk can say ...
okayyouretheprinceandimthequeenandwaityouretheknightandyourehunting
dragonsandimthequeenandyourehuntingdragonsbutsleepingdragonsnotawake
dragonsbecauseawakedragonsbreathtoomuchfireforyouandtheymeltyourarmor
butyoudonthaveregulararmoryouhavemagicarmorandthemagicarmormakesa
soundwhenadragonistoocloseandthatsoundislike/playsharmonica
... before I can call for help. Which is to say, it's been a long time since Brian Wilson was a Hero Who Would Never Have to Pay for Another Drink in San Francisco Again. Now, he would get charged for the cherry in his Manhattan. And that's anchovy brine instead of sweet vermouth, but I'm sure it's just as good, Brian. $115, please.
Here's how this started, the Dodgers asked their fans to vote on four final candidates for a bobblehead: A.J. Ellis, Juan Uribe, Carl Crawford, and Brian Wilson.
Let's revisit our original reaction to Wilson on the Dodgers
Gross. We thought it was gross.
The obvious choice is Ellis, right? He's a homegrown, fan-favorite catcher. He's gritty or something. Give him the damned bobblehead.
Uribe's kind of funny, considering his spot in Giants lore and his not-that-distant history of being a Dodgers goat, but he had what was probably the biggest hit for the Dodgers since Kirk Gibson. Maybe Steve Finley, but I'm going back to Gibson. He's earned a bobblehead with them.
Brian Wilson has pitched 13.2 innings for the Dodgers in the regular season and six in the postseason. He gets the bobblehead treatment.
I'm not sure if this is supposed to troll Giants fans or Dodgers fans. Probably both. The responses to the announcement on the Dodgers' Twitter feed suggest the latter. I almost wrote something about the vote, encouraging Giants fans to vote for Wilson, but then I thought of what the actual bobblehead would look like. Something like this:
I hope the @BrianWilson38 bobblehead given out by the #Dodgers on June 26th has a real beard #GotHeeeem pic.twitter.com/RxN4YHQJ7L
— DodgersBeat (@DodgersBeat) January 14, 2014
NOPE. Not going to be a part of that. But let's see what Facebook people had to say.
AJ was the only candidate who was a homegrown Dodger. Guess that means nothing nowadays.
Ellis got robbed.
No Freakin way!! AJ deserves it so much more. Wilson has not even been a Dodger for 1 full season yet!!
Dear Dodgers,
I am upset as a season ticket holder that this was even a vote. Don't get me wrong, I'm extremely happy that we have a talent like Wilson in out bullpen. However, he has not earned that dodger blue jersey yet. There is a tradition and a certain respect one must have when wearing that uniform and Brian Wilson still has a long way to go before he can be considered a true "Dodger." A.J. on the other hand has not only earned his stripes, but he wears the jersey with pride and represents the organization with class. He is home grown, a true professional, and a great catcher. I fully expect this organization to do the right thing and give A.J. The honor of having a bobblehead day for the true leader, everyday, on that diamond.
Horrible... everyone who voted for wilson should be ashamed of themselves.... BW has does nothing with the dodgers to deserve a bobblehead.
Ha ha ha ha, okay, maybe it was worth it.
And if Wilson blows a crucial lead at some point in the playoffs ... oh, man, will it have been worth it.
Brian Wilson has a bobblehead with the Dodgers, and while that's disgustingly icky right now, we can still hope that it's a sleeper-agent bobblehead. After the three-run homer he gives up on the last day of the season to keep the Dodgers out of the playoffs, that bobblehead will rattle around in a drawer, just waiting to see daylight and remind Dodgers fans about their horrible choice in baseball teams.
We can hope, at least.
Good gravy, that bobblehead up there is awful. I'd make fun of a pitcher wearing sunglasses on the mound, but I'm half-expecting Wilson to try it before the end of the season.
