The final 2014 draft position for the San Francisco Giants

The regular season is over. The bad teams get to look around, mutter some salty language, and take inventory. "At least we get a good draft pick," they might say. So let's take a look at the worst records in baseball, and see where everyone's picking.

So the Giants get the #13 pick ... except the Blue Jays didn't sign their first-round pick last year, which seems like a personal problem, but it means they get the #11 pick. The Giants get #14.

After all, that, the Giants pick in the middle of the first round. Because they were so danged average this year. Just an average team having an average season, everyone. No special consolation prizes for us, no. The Giants were just a middle-of-the-road team.

What this means is that the Giants don't have a protected first-round pick in 2014. If they sign a player who is extended a qualifying offer from his former team -- about one year, $14 million -- the Giants lose their first-round pick.

I'm going to play Vince Gilligan, now. Because there's a twist. It's going to end mostly how you expect, but not exactly. The Giants are going to lose this pick, just like you expect. They're going to sign a free agent, and it'll cost them. You'll get over it. For a while.

The free agent is going to be Carlos Beltran.

The Cardinals will draft a hard-throwing right-hander with the compensation pick they get from the Giants, and he'll be one of the greatest pitchers of the 21st century. Second-best, really. Behind Zack Wheeler.

The second Brian Sabean realizes what's happening, he'll rush out of the ballpark, looking for Beltran.

Cut to: Beltran walking with a limp. Walking with a limp. Walking ... without a limp. He gets in a car. He nods. Scott Cousins is driving. Nods back.

The Giants pick #14, everyone. Here's hoping that either they get a good prospect there, or that the free agent they sign is a danged good free agent.

Sleep tight, everyone.