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Giants lose to Padres, nobody cares

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I was playing Super Metroid for most of it.

We should live on Jerko Street (Jerko!) People are living on Jerko Street (Jerko!) Gonna die on Jerko Street - photo credit
We should live on Jerko Street (Jerko!) People are living on Jerko Street (Jerko!) Gonna die on Jerko Street - photo credit
Christopher Hanewinckel-USA TODA

The Giants are torpid. The Giants are feckless. I have two spec SyFy teleplays. They haven't sold yet, but I'm optimistic. The first one is Feckpid, which is a story about a team that combines the fecklessness of the 2013 Giants with the torpidity of the 2013 Giants. Barry Zito co-stars with Debbie Gibson. The second one is Torkless, and it's a sequel. A horrible, boring sequel.

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I enjoy watching Brandon Belt play baseball, and while I pretended not to care so much about Pablo Sandoval's weight, I really enjoy watching him shrink as the season progresses.

These are positive notes. About the game. Because if you're just going to sit around and complain a Giants loss on a holiday, boy, what kind of loser are you.

oh god we're all sick we're all sick why why why can't we turn this off

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Barry Zito is going to sign a one-year contract with the Rays next year, and he's going to be pretty good. Start dealing with it now.

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Yet at the same time, I can't sake the feeling that I'm "tired" of watching Barry Zito games. It's the dangedest thing.

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/pulls lever

/first wheel comes up Barry Zito

/second wheel comes up Guillermo Moscoso

/third wheel comes up Jean Machi

/bells ring

/earwigs crawl out of bottom of machine

/earwigs envelop you

/earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs earwigs

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The Giants hit a lot of hard-hit outs after getting runners on base on Monday. This is an improvement over the soft-hit outs they normally hit into. Maybe next year, they can transition into soft-hit hits. Baby steps. Baby steps.

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Year Age Tm ERA G IP H ER HR BB SO ERA+
2013 28 OAK 1.19 23 30.1 30 4 0 4 21 318

Dan Otero for the A's this year.

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In the eighth inning, Pablo Sandoval came up with two runners on and a three-run deficit. Duane Kuiper was contractually obligated to describe him as the "tying run." He did it without giggling. This is why he is a professional announcer.

Let's take a moment to remember all of the Giants' three-run homers this year:

Good times.

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Boy, the only labor I experienced today was watching this game, right?