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Very Important Theatre, Vol. XXI: THE FUTURE

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Look, I'm not sure what a Google Glass is. But there will be apps for it. Do you like apps? I like apps. They seem to get things done.

The app in the video looks like a GameDay app over your eye. Which is probably the point. I remember showing my parents the actual GameDay app at a game a year ago.

Me: See? It tells you what kind of pitch it was. A slider on the outside corner. Just barely a strike. Isn't that wild?

Dad: What about the pitch before that?

Me: The app doesn't ... I can't go back ... wait ...

Dad: Can your phone tell me if Brian Wilson's slider to Nelson Cruz was a strike?

Me: Hold on. My 3G isn't ... dammit ...

Phone: Boop boop! I'm out of batteries!

Me: I just charged you an hour ago!

Phone: Boop boop! I'm an asshole!

So if this thing can give you better real-time updates than these confounded "smart phones," then I'm in.

Mostly, though, I was sold when the video ended with Brandon Belt hitting a home run. Did you know that Belt is hitting .272/.351/.446 in a pitcher's league in a pitcher's era in a pitcher's park? Seems like the kind of thing that should get some attention.

Sorry, I'll stop rambling. Here's the comment starter: How long until this stuff becomes the standard? We've been building toward it since Robocop, and while I thought I was clever with that reference, I searched for "Google Glass" and "Robocop." Yeah, it's already out there. In 10 years, we're all going to be wearing these things, and we're all going to have detailed information about which umps screwed up where.

And Brandon Belt will still be a bad S.O.B.