Giants lose again despite scoring two runs

Team's carcass in alley this morning. Well-struck line drives to burst stomach. This division is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The stadiums are extended gutters and the power alleys are full of blood and when the infield finally scabs over, all the runners will be safe. The accumulated WHIP of all my walks and hits and walks will foam up about our waists and all the fans and pundits will look up and shout "Save us!"

And I'll whisper, "no."

- Matt Cain

Juan Uribe had seven RBI tonight. That's more than he had in:

May, 2011
June, 2011
July, 2011
May, 2012
June, 2012
July, 2012
August, 2012
September, 2012
April, 2013
May, 2013
June, 2013

So that's how this night went.

The Giants scored 10 runs in their last six games. But one of those games went just six innings.

Two moments that stuck out to me:

1. A ball bounces five feet from home plate with a runner on first. Before we can see what happens, the director cuts to a close-up shot of the scoreboard reading "E3, E4." The shot holds for a second. When we cut back, there's a runner on second. The Giants didn't even commit two errors in the game, so I'm not sure what the shot was. But it sure felt right.

2. In the bottom of the seventh, a bunch of drunkards started a "BEAT L.A." chant. It was touching in a Bad News Bears in Breaking Training kind of way. Five seconds later, Gregor Blanco struck out on a back-foot slider. He missed it by, oh, three or four feet.

And then, on July 5, 2013, I was comforted with the thought of, "Eh, screw you. The Warriors are better than the Lakers, you jackals," before I put my feet between two pieces of bread and ate them.

Remember how the no-hitter felt like it wasn't going to be rock bottom? Tonight didn't feel worse. So maybe it really was rock bottom back there. Thanks, Homer Bailey! Thanks for dulling the pain!

Ricky Nolasco would have have cuttered the shit out of this game. He would have cuttered the Giants into caring, and then he would have sinkered the Giants into remembering who they really were. Then he would have slow-curved the Dodgers into a corner, and slop-slidered them into giving up. Slop slop slop slop slop slop.

Ricky Nolasco would have fixed this.

Clayton Kershaw pitches on Sunday.

The worst thing that happened to this franchise in the past three years was the Buster Posey injury. The second-worst thing in the past three years was the Giants doing well in June and July of 2011 because that de-Wheelered them.

So if you're going to melt into a puddle of ex-contender, better to do it now. The Giants are 5.5 back now. That seems a little more like it. With a couple more losses, the idea of Giants making the playoffs will officially be really, really far-fetched.

That was a humiliating loss. It's cathartic to think thoughts like that. Matt Cain had another of his death-innings, and he ended up allowing eight earned runs. He's allowed more than seven earned runs in 11 games over his career. Four of those games have come in the last three months.

The Giants didn't lose because of the strike zone. The Giants lost because of bad baseballing.

But we can all agree that was a jackass strike zone, right? Pretty silly for both teams.

Brandon Crawford's defense hasn't seemed magic this year. Am I alone in thinking this? Am I being unfair? Possibly. But last year I wanted to spray-paint my hand gold and chop it off and give it to Crawford and say "HERE IS YOUR GOLD GLOVE WEAR IT WITH HONOR." This year I want to say, "Hey, that guy is pretty good at short most of the time."

That's different, right?

Kyle Crick, though:

hello i'm the giants