It's time for a slumpy dump. An eight-games-back, clean-out-yer-innards link dump. A dump with some thump. Get pumped, and you'll find the dump after the jump.
I don't have a lot of links, so I'm trying to cut this dump with some filler. It's not working. But I did just find out that all sorts of things rhyme with "dump."
bump, chump, clump, crump, dump, flump, frump, grump, gump, hump, jump, lump, plump, rump, slump, stump, thump, trump
And the best part? That flump is a real word. "He flumped a curveball into the zone," is a legitimate sentence.
The other best part is that you can attach any of these to "umpire." When Cowboy Joe West tosses someone out with little provocation? More like a grumpire. When a large umpire can't get out of the way? More like the plumpire fell on his rumpire.
There. That's enough filler. Too much, really. To the links!
MLBfarm.com: Your Source For MLB Farm System Statistics
A gentleman's been tweeting this link at me for a while, and when I finally took a look at it ... goodness, this is useful. Want to see how the Giants' draft class is doing? Those stats are all collected in one place. How did everyone in the Giants' organization do the night before? That's collected in one place, too.
Nothing's ever going to replace the phenomenal Minor Lines, but this is heckuva complement.
Before Football, Jets’ Ryan Mastered Table Baseball - NYTimes.com
I can't remember if Rex Ryan is the guy with the foot thing, and if so, huh. But I do know that he's big on Strat-o-matic, which is pretty awesome. This is a good read.
30 minutes with Sky Sox manager Glenallen Hill
One of my favorite ex-Giants, even if he fielded like he was carrying Damon Minor in a Baby Bjorn. He's managing in the minors now, and he has some nice things to say about a recent birthday boy who once had an OBP over .600 in a season. But I'm not going to say who.
Old Time Family Baseball - Just say no!
I wanted to buy this. And then I saw the price ...
MLB trade deadline: Four fake trades to annoy you - Baseball Nation
In this article, I troll Dodgers fans, Tigers fans, Rangers fans, Marlins fan, Royals fans, and Giants fans. I even had that meme-like grin on my face when I did it.
Stop using K/BB! - Beyond the Box Score
An illuminating article. I'm fascinated with the declining usefulness of strikeout-to-walk ratios, and this article helped me understand why it shouldn't be so surprising.
Arthur C. Clarke's 1986 Predictions for Future Baseball
Arthur C. Clarke, the author of 2001 and Rendezvous with Rama, among other great books, predicts what baseball will be like in 30 years. He fails pretty hilariously. But! Two years before the paternity scandals broke, he had this prediction:
Bud Garvey—right-handed first baseman. He can hit any kind of pitch you throw Steve Garvey the Dodgers's old first baseman, sired him so well that he keeps getting black market requests around the league to produce more offspring.
Black. Market. Requests. To. Produce. More. Offspring. That makes up for everything else in the article, and turns this set of predictions into the most prescient thing I've ever read. Good work, seer. Good work.