On the whole, I preferred last night's game.
I had a Manhattan with lunch, and fell asleep from innings six through eight.
Is that a metaphor for this game? No. The Manhattan was delicious. This game was like someone replaced the sweet vermouth with liquid English Patient, then filled the room with carbon monoxide.
The Giants have a .000 winning percentage in Jeff Francoeur starts. If they played an entire season with a .000 winning percentage, they would break all sorts of records.
The Giants have a .000 winning percentage in Barry Zito starts. If they played an entire season with…
Wait, hold on, lemme check that … huh. Well, I'll be. Sure felt like it.
After the amusing "Zito just wins" nonsense from earlier in the year, this regression to the mean has been cruel and swift. The Giants have won just one of Barry Zito's starts since the start of June, and he has a 6.42 ERA in that stretch.
We're pretty close to the end of the Zito era. There's a chance the Giants might re-sign him of they're devoid of alternatives, But I'll assume that the Giants and Zito are going to part ways. It's close. It's close. But I have some serious Barry Zito-related senioritis going on right now. I know the end is close, but I still want to cut class and do anything else rather than watch a Zito start. I stopped getting angry in 2009. Now it's just a dull hum. A dull, dull, dull hum.
It wasn't that long ago where it was appropriate to wonder who the odd man out was in the rotation when Ryan Vogelsong came back. Now? Not so much. At least the threat of the 2014 option vesting is mostly gone.
So long and thanks for all the fish. And the NLCS last year. And Game 1 of the World Series. Good Giant, it turns out. But, goodness, am I tired of the slog. Barry Zito starts are a good way to question if this sport is even interesting in the first place.
- From the pineapple to Petco- Christopher Hanewinckel-USA TODAY Sports This is how the night started. You know that Squidward would totally be the type to bitch about the pitch count.
- Lincecum/Posey mound visit- Photo by Christopher Hanewinckel-USA TODAY Sports "Look, when I wiggle my fingers, that means 'don't allow a hit.' That's been the sign for three years, but you've never paid attention, dammit."
- The English Butler (Photo by Denis Poroy/Getty Images) Tim Lincecum had excellent English Butler face going on.
- Pointing at Pablo (Christopher Hanewinckel-USA TODAY Sports) After Pablo's sweet play to end the seventh, Lincecum gives him a "Always liked you Clarence. Always have, always will" point.
- Hunter Pence - Christopher Hanewinckel-USA TODAY Sports Goodness.
- Hunter Pence again - Christopher Hanewinckel-USA TODAY Sports Goodness.
- Fist of Triumph - Christopher Hanewinckel-USA TODAY Sports This was after Hunter Pence's catch. Great shot.
- Before last pitch - Christopher Hanewinckel-USA TODAY Sports
- Pence face - Christopher Hanewinckel-USA TODAY Sports This shot also gives you an idea of how large Hunter Pence really is.
- Christopher Hanewinckel-USA TODAY Sports Still wondering what Belt did in the dugout to mess with superstition. The story has to be coming out any moment ...
- The Tackle - Christopher Hanewinckel-USA TODAY Sports
- Happy Scutaro - Christopher Hanewinckel-USA TODAY Sports Not going to lie: Marco Scutaro makes some excellent happy faces. He looks like a friendly turtle in this one.
- The iconic shot - (Photo by Denis Poroy/Getty Images) You'll see some variation of this for the next forever.
- Lincecum Face - Christopher Hanewinckel-USA TODAY Sports It looks like someone Photoshopped Lincecum's face in the middle of the scrum. Also, note the LURKING HUNTER PENCE.
- Christopher Hanewinckel-USA TODAY Sports Man, you can just feel the loathing and contempt oozing out of this one.
- Exhausted Lincecum - Christopher Hanewinckel-USA TODAY Sports "Hey, what's that billowing out of your elbow?" "We'll worry about it tomorrow, my man."
- Andres and Timmy - (Photo by Denis Poroy/Getty Images) d'awwwww. Also, note the liquid awesome coming out of Lincecum's person.
- Leapin' Giraffes - Photo by Denis Poroy/Getty Images)
- Congratulations. Now you're wet. (Photo by Denis Poroy/Getty Images) There's only one thing better than this picture ...
- ... and that's a good ol' Vogey face.
Huh. that button was supposed to insert the Lincecum gallery into the post, but it didn't work. Now that's a metaphor.
Giants records at the break for the last 25 years:
If you're wondering why this season has felt like such a drag, there you go. This is pretty rare, this first-half meltdown.
Santiago Casilla is back. That would have been really, really exciting at the start of June. Right now, I'd almost prefer to watch Jake Dunning, just because he's different.
But Casilla makes the team better, and I guess they're only 6.5 out. That's probably insurmountable. But it's also something that can go away quickly with a Diamondbacks series and a hot two weeks. A better bullpen can't hurt, and for all his faults, Casilla has been pretty steady. He had a good return outing.
Kyle Crick pitched in the Futures Game, which is important because he is going to save us all one day. free f.p. #14 had a recap:
Kyle Crick threw to three batters in the ninth. FB was consistently 95-97, he didn’t command it well though and walked two batters. He threw mostly fastballs, I think I saw two curveballs. Curveball looked good, both were 82 with 11-5 break. He walked Xander Bogarts, got Miguel Sano to line out to center, and walked Henry Urrutia before getting taken out.
It's tough to get grumbly about this game. Tim Lincecum threw a no-hitter, everybody. But a sweep sure would have been cooler. Sure would have been.