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Giants lose, don't teach us anything

"If I were as bad at my job as you are at yours, I would be Dante Powell."  Photo credit -
"If I were as bad at my job as you are at yours, I would be Dante Powell." Photo credit -
Ezra Shaw

There you go. The "welp" game of the year. There weren't any lessons to learn. That, my friends, was a game that made you say "welp." No more, no less.

Let's look at what we might have learned if we didn't know it already:

1. Ryan Vogelsong grind grinds grinds with pitches on the outside of the strike zone

Welp, we knew that, and it's great when it works. In the fifth inning, though, the grinding backfired*. Pete Kozma reached on an infield hit that Pablo Sandoval probably should have let Brandon Crawford take, and a bunt moved Kozma to second. That brought up Matt Carpenter, and Vogelsong went into grind grind grind grind mode.

Carpenter took the walk, and Vogelsong didn't really mind because that's his sick game. Tease, walk, and conquer. It's a unique style of pitching. Or, wait, maybe the style isn't unique, but the commitment to it is. Vogelsong will pitch like that even if there's a good hitter on deck, like Matt Holliday. Most of the time, it works. Think Miguel Cabrera in the World Series. But it didn't work today. Vogelsong threw exactly one awful pitch today, but it happened to be to Carlos Beltran with the bases loaded. The downside of grind grind grind.

2. Sometimes hard-hit balls get caught

Welp, so it goes. Brandon Belt doesn't have a hit this season, even though he should be hitting .300. Shelby Miller was good, but he probably deserved to give up a couple more hits.

But the biggest BABIP-related welp came with Joaquin Arias against Randy Choate with two runners on in the sixth. Hunter Pence and Brandon Belt took back-to-back walks -- exactly what you hitters to do when the team is down by three -- and Arias lined a shot to right. It should have been 5-3 with one out and runners on second and third. Instead it was an unassisted double play.

3. Joaquin Arias is the big bat off the bench

Welp. Huh. Hector Sanchez came up later as the pinch-hitter, so maybe he's the big bat. Either way, the Giants could use a better pinch-hitting specialist. Like, I don't know, Andres Galarraga. What's the Big Cat doing these days? He's probably in good shape. Someone like that. Charlie Hayes. Now there's a lefty-killer off the bench. Heck, I'm almost tempted to mention Shawon Dunston here. That's how underwhelming the Giants' bench is.

The first hitters off the bench are a backup shortstop and a backup catcher. That's an odd pair of first options.

4. Angel Hernandez is still awful

I thought of this one when I was watching the game because I noticed that Angel Hernandez is still awful. Imagine if instead of my normal post-game ramblings, I copied the game log from, pasted it into Word, converted it to webdings, and published it. You would be like, "Hey, SB Nation! This guy is horrible at his job! Can't you do anything?" And SB Nation would shrug their shoulders and continue to allow it until the end of time. That's Angel Hernandez's relationship with MLB.

He's not responsible for the loss, of course. But when he's terrible, it's always worth pointing out.

5. Solo home runs are kind of a tease

Welp. The Giants hit a couple home runs. They hit other balls hard with runners on base. They scored three runs.

The Giants were on pace to win 122 games before Saturday's game. Now they're on pace to win just 97. That's how big this game was, everybody -- a 25-game swing.

Welp. It was one of those games. One of those games.

* This also sounds like an industrial accident at a gentleman's club.