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I clicked on a bunch of FanGraphs table headers so you don't have to

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Come join us in a romp through the magical world of small samples!

USA TODAY Sports

After three weeks of pretending to know what the results of early April meant, let's try a post that's devoid of narrative entirely. Also devoid of a point, really, as this is fun with small samples. But here are a few categories that FanGraphs keeps track of, and here are how various Giants stack up with each other:

(Note: There are no stupid jokes in this piece. Even this parenthetical is completely dry. Just a bunch of raw numbers.)

Giants with a walk rate over 10 percent
1. Madison Bumgarner (18.2%)
2. Guillermo Quiroz (16.7)
3. Hector Sanchez (15.8)
4. Tim Lincecum (12.5)
5. Gregor Blanco (12.1)
6. Ryan Vogelsong (10.0)

Top 10 Giants hitters by FanGraphs' WAR
1. Brandon Crawford (1.2)
2. Pablo Sandoval (0.7)
3. Buster Posey (0.5)
4. Gregor Blanco (0.5)
5. Hunter Pence (0.3)
6. Angel Pagan (0.3)
7. Barry Zito (0.2)
8. Nick Noonan (0.2)
9. Madison Bumgarner (0.2)
10. Guillermo Quiroz

Top five Giants pitchers by FanGraphs' WAR
1. Madison Bumgarner (0.4)
2. Sergio Romo (0.4)
3. Chad Gaudin (0.3)
4. Barry Zito (0.2)
5. Santiago Casilla (0.2)

Percentage of pitches that PITCHf/x can't classify
1. Ryan Vogelsong (26.2%)
2. Jean Machi (20.8)
3. Jose Mijares (15.4)
4. Jeremy Affeldt (11.0)
5. Santiago Casilla (8.5)

Pitches thrown in the strike zone
1. Chad Gaudin (60.4%)
2. Matt Cain (51.8)
3. George Kontos (51.1)
4. Madison Bumgarner (50.5)
5. Ryan Vogelsong (49.4)

Best UZR per 150 games (minimum 100 innings)
1. Gregor Blanco (50.6)
2. Brandon Crawford (36.9)
3. Brandon Belt (34.9)
4. Marco Scutaro (23.1)
5. Pablo Sandoval (13.9)

Highest line-drive percentage (minimum 20 AB)
1. Andres Torres (32.1%)
2. Brandon Belt (31.9)
3. Gregor Blanco (28.6)
4. Joaquin Arias (27.8)
5. Pablo Sandoval (23.9)

Lowest percentage of fastballs seen (minimum of 20 AB)
1. Andres Torres (41.4%)
2. Hunter Pence (44.0)
3. Pablo Sandoval (48.9)
4. Brandon Belt (51.2)
5. Brandon Crawford (51.4)

Leaders in FanGraphs' "Clutch" metric
1. Brandon Belt (0.73)
2. Nick Noonan (0.48)
3. Angel Pagan (0.45)
4. Pablo Sandoval (0.40)
5. Gregor Blanco (0.29)

Teams ranked by "Clutch" metric
1. Giants (2.14)
2. Orioles (2.07)
3. Cardinals (1.76)
4. Brewers (1.69)
5. Phillies (1.15)

Highest percentage of swings outside the strike zone
1. Joaquin Arias (53.3%)
2. Pablo Sandoval (!) (47.2)
3. Nick Noonan (36.6)
4. Hector Sanchez (33.3)
5. Brandon Belt (32.9)

Lowest percentage of strikes thrown to
1. Pablo Sandoval (36.1%)
2. Brandon Belt (40.2)
3. Nick Noonan (43.1)
4. Hector Sanchez (43.5)
5. Hunter Pence (45.8)

Highest batting average allowed on balls in play
1. Jose Mijares (.533)
2. Javier Lopez (.429)
3. Ryan Vogelsong (.325)
4. Matt Cain (.299)
5. Barry Zito (.296)

Contact rate (MLB)
1. Giants (82.5%)
2. Diamondbacks (81.7)
3. Mets (81.7)
4. Cardinals (81.7)
5. Tigers (81.3)

Contact rate on pitches in the strike zone (MLB)
1. Giants (89.8%)
2. Cardinals (89.4)
3. Yankees (88.9)
4. Phillies (88.7)
5. Marlins (88.2)

Most fielding runs saved (total)
1. Braves (11.0)
2. Giants (7.8)
3. Indians (7.8)
4. Rays (7.1)
6. Royals (6.1)

You can take these numbers any way you'd like. Preferably with a three-week sample of salt. There you go. I clicked on a bunch of FanGraphs table headers so you don't have to.