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Yuniesky Betancourt, notable utility infielder, is on the market

DEFCON 2, people. DEFCON 2.

Jamie Sabau

Maybe this is something out of nothing. But, hey, we like to do that around here. Right after I made myself chuckle by making fun of Yuniesky Betancourt in this post, I checked MLB Trade Rumors before I went to sleep. Bad move.

Phillies Release Yuniesky Betancourt

Whoop whoop whooop whooop whoooooop, go the sirens in your mind. But, c'mon. That's just us getting scared by the shadows on the walls. There's no tangible reason why we should be scared by Yuni's availability.

NO NO NO NO. Yuni's hitting .447 this spring, too. Oh, no no no no.

But here's something I didn't realize: There has never been a substantial Yuni/Giants rumor on MLB Trade Rumors, at least nothing on Yuni's player page there. He's been a bogeyman in my closet for years, yet there hasn't been a substantial reason for it. Actually, try to follow this logic:

If the Giants are an ably run organization, good enough to win a championship two out of the last three years ...

and it takes good players to win a championship ...

and by virtue of him being bad at the plate, bad on the bases, and bad in the field, Yuniesky is not a good player...

therefore it's possible the Giants have never had the slightest interest in Yuniesky Betancourt for any role.

Your counterpoint might be a simple "Orlando Cabrera" or "Orlando Cabrera and Willie Bloomquist." But in those cases, there was at least one semi-competent skill on the table. Cabrera was supposed to field better than Miguel Tejada, and Bloomquist runs the bases well. Betancourt is like Juan Uribe -- today's Juan Uribe, mind you -- without the plate discipline.

If there were a grand, Wag the Dog-style conspiracy to make Ryan Theriot look good over the last few days, it would look like this. Bravo, puppet master. Bravo. Because I'm in. Theriot or bust. Or Abreu. That's probably still the best option if he's healthy.

The goal of a team looking for a random utility infielder should be inoffensive -- they should be looking for the kind of replacement player who doesn't cost his team any wins. Betancourt is not that player. But there's no indication the Giants are interested in him, mind you. He's just the Keyser Soze story that baseball fans tell their kids to spook them straight, and I fall for it every time.