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Very Important Theatre, Vol. III

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I always wondered how Deadspin gets everything so quickly. Not just the obvious, big stories, like the kid from Notre Dame, but the little ones. A condor got loose at a minor-league hockey game, and Deadspin had the video up before I saw it anywhere else. Things like that.

Now, some of it is due to editorial planning and derring-do, but I think a lot of it has to do with tipsters. People are constantly telling them, "Hey, check this out." Or tweeting at them, "Hey, check that out." That way they find the condors getting loose and terrorizing hockey players. (Which is amazing.)

That's all a big, long intro to lead into my main point: Where in the hell were you all on this? This is Brandon Belt and Barry Zito presenting at the Country Music Awards, and it's kind of glorious. Zito is duded up and Belt is as awkward as you'd expect, and it's fantastic. And not one of you tipped me off. You expect me to read the comments? Deadspin doesn't have to open their comments to get tips, dammit.

Man, oh, man. How did I miss this? It's from December, dammit. Alright, it's not that exciting. But I'm still putting an ad out on Craigslist for tipsters.

An aside: Why are the big country songstresses closer to Pat Benatar than Emmylou Harris now, and why is that popular? I'll take my answer off the air.