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Shane Victorino and A.J. Pierzynski are on the same team

This is it, everyone. They said we were crazy. They said we were survivalist nuts. They called us a cult. But it's here. We were right. And now we're more prepared than everyone else, so we have to act quickly.

Shane Victorino and A.J. Pierzynski are on the same team.

THE FIRST RULE IS TO NOT PANIC. We've talked about this, Chad. You're trembling and shaking your head like this isn't what we've been preparing for this whole time. There isn't anything here that should surprise us. Panic and fear are just what they want.

Joyce, the first thing you need to do is check on the gasoline reserves. Make sure we have as much as we think we do. We need to start the rationing right away.

Charlie, you're in charge of the armory. Start distributing the long-range rifles and ammo first, but keep the short-range stuff close. The stores have already been looted, I'm sure, so the people who saw the 60 Minutes feature on us will know that we have food and ammo, and they'll know where to find us. Get some of the school-age kids, give them some rifles, and set up a perimeter.

Get the chopper ready, Pete. Now, we'll have to fly low to avoid detection, but not so low that the scared, frantic mob will try to shoot you down. You know the drill. Go to Michael Barrett's house first, pick him up, then get Eli Whiteside. If they've opened just one of those letters, they'll know you're coming. The map is under the seat. No time like the present, let's go.

I need those pigs and chickens guarded, people. Lock the grain up, and we'll need a complete inventory on those cans. The grocery stores are skeletons, people, and they're going to come for us.

Chad, dammit, snap out of it. We need you. I know, I know … a lot of us have families that we left to come here, too, but they're gone, man. You can't think about them. They're gone. Now get out there, and check that fence's integrity. The whole perimeter, go. Now, dammit!

Samantha, keep the prophecy rune safe. If they get through and find the rune, they'll try to destroy it, as if that will break the spell. I know how they think. Those idiots will have no idea that it's our only chance.

We don't have to worry about the cups and athletic supporters now. When things start to grow out of the ashes, people will use the cups for currency in a Pierzynski/Victorino afterworld, but they're useless to us now, other than as rain-catchers. So, yeah, get them set up when a storm's coming, but don't worry about it now.

We need to reach out to the others. We need to find pockets of the resistance. Dale, we talked about you volunteering to be the scout, but you're ... I'm sorry, you know what I'm going to say, but we need fresh legs. We need to move quickly, so I'm sending Adam. You can help us here, and you know it.

Stations, everyone! Now! Move as if civilization depends on it because it almost certainly does. I'll be in the redwood tower with a sniper rifle, a cup of coffee, and the smug satisfaction of being right. It's here, everyone. They called us crazy. But it's here.

Shane Victorino and A.J. Pierzynski are on the same team.

God help us all.