Dodgers down 2-0 in NLCS, Tigers take early ALCS lead

I would hand-deliver my cat to a coven of cat-eating possums if it got the Giants into the NLCS right now. I would tie a bow made of prosciutto around his tail and ignore his increasingly frantic cries. So, yeah, I want the Giants in the playoffs right now.

But after watching two 1-0 games, during which I was standing and biting my nails down to the cuticle, I can appreciate the absence of Giants-related events in my life right now. If that's how I feel watching those games, when I didn't really care a lick about any of the teams ... woof, better them than me.

Technically not true. But within five seconds of my head hitting the pillow tonight, I'll be asleep. This will not be true of Dodgers and Red Sox fans. So take that silver lining before it evaporates. I have no idea how we survived the Jay Bruce at-bat last year. Maybe we didn't. Maybe we're all just living the last episode of Lost, and we're all dead/horrible.

The Dodgers need to win four of their next five games if they want to go to the World Series. This pleases me. It should please you. I think they're playing the Pirates, so that part's awesome, too. Hooray! Everything's great!

Note, though, that from about June 17 through August 28, the Dodgers won 548 games in a row. And that from October 9 through October 11, and from October 19 through October 22 last year, the Giants won three straight games on two separate occasions. So if you're looking to muntz at the Dodgers until you pass out, you're ruining everything, you fool.

But for three combined games of the League Championship Series, everything is going as planned. The heartbreak ray is ruining lives, just like the NSA designed it. We could still end up with a gross, gross Red Sox/Dodgers World Series, but at least the odds are a little more in our favor.

Shane Victorino is disappointed right now. No matter what happens, savor that for a few seconds, at least.