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Grant's TV appearance

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A shocking reveal. The key images that rip the lid off this thing. Major League Baseball is using Plebe Inspiring Pundits (PIPs) to make fans think their teams have a shot.

Jamie Squire

17,000 feet of red yarn. 34,000 push pins. 9 cork boards. 5 rooms and their walls. 2 minutes of "Intentional Talk". I spared no expense and left no mobile device unlocked in my pursuit of the truth. I connected the dots, people. What I've discovered is that Grant Brisbee, national baseball editor for SB Nation, has been hired -- or possibly conscripted -- by Major League Baseball to play the role of the positive spin guy. His sole purpose is to hype up teams with lowly, sad, pathetic fan bases to give those fans hope for the coming season, ostensibly so that they will buy season tickets and merchandise in advance of a prolonged, obvious losing streak.

What remains unclear is Mr. Brisbee's role in this charade. It's clear that he has ambition, gumption, and a voice that could melt Iron Man's suit (and arc reactor, most likely), but is he a knowing participant? Because of his intelligence I tend to think that he is knowingly playing a role for Major League Baseball. His body language, then, suggests that he is at the same time conflicted, knowing that he is living a lie. I allow for the possibility that he has somehow been brainwashed or otherwise "influenced" to play along and will update this report as I gather more information.

Yet from his positive comments about the Athletics' 2012 season and declaration that the Diamondbacks have improved heading into this season, Grant Brisbee has decided that he will be the guy plebe-inspiring pundit (PIP). He's cheating the game and he needs to answer for his crimes. I offer visual proof of his mendacity, obvious signs that he's doing a bit, one designed to make people think their team has a shot:


He's making shit up about why the A's were good last year. Multiple eye glances to the left.




A clear sign that a person is lying.


Sudden anger with no discernible pretext.


This sort of irrational outburst can usually be attributed to duress or anxiety.


Hard swallow. Could be a dry throat from nerves or from talking a lot, but most likely because of extreme guilt.



A sinking posture. A clear sign of being extraordinarily uncomfortable. Like watching a criminal as he listens to testimony about what he did. Maybe he can't believe what he just said ("But overall, I think the starting five [the Oakland Athletics] have is pretty magnificent.") or maybe he's dreading what he has to say next in this pre-scripted farce.


But as he moved through his segments, it's clear that Grant became more comfortable with his role as a PIP.



A glance to the right means that he was recalling a memory, not making up a lie. He had come to believe his lies about the Diamondbacks. O-or the Braves. I didn't write down in my notes which team he was talking about at this juncture. BUT IT HAPPENED.

He hadn't been caught, he was doing great, nobody suspected a thing. It was at this point that his new public persona (PIP) merged with his true self (Grantford Tiberius Brisbee) and we lost him forever.



Laughter is believed to be a response to death.


He was no longer uncomfortable. He was polite, proper, accustomed to his role.


And it made him feel powerful.


But *why* would Major League Baseball do this? Why would they need someone to hype the A's and the Diamondbacks and the Braves? Why would they pick America's foremost authority on the San Francisco Giants to do it? Oh, he's the national baseball editor so he's made it his job to know as much as possible about all the teams? CONVENIENT STORY, BRO.

How about -- how about Gibby and Lew Wolff and-and Liberty Media are working together, in concert, to take down the Giants, and "turning" Grant was their shot across the bow at the Giants' ownership group? What if MLB's use of PIPs is a new way for the league to control the owners -- who control the players, who control the fans? It's a paradox, people, and that can only mean it was planned and it is dangerous.

The next time you favorite, retweet, or recommend one of Mr. Brisbee's comments or posts, just know that you are feeding The Beast and contributing to your own subservience.