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Important Very Serious Matt Cain-Related Contest

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I guess there are things in the Giants world to write about on an off day. Are the Giants really going to screw around with Ryan Theriot and Joaquin Arias in the outfield? What's Pat Burrell up to? Why come them pitchers no pitch much good like back over there?

Yeah, there are things to write about. But for some reason, I'm in a navel-gazing, nostalgic kind of mood. That's probably why I wrote about Brian Johnson today, albeit in an Orioles/Pirates context. And I'm also in a mood to write about Matt Cain's perfect game. Mostly because I get to give away some free stuff:

It's like that, but with Matt Cain Perfect Game DVDs. You should be thrilled!

Yes, today you have a chance to win one of five Matt Cain DVDs. I could have done the standard trivia contest -- "Name the outfielder whose name rhymes with Stegormanco, and who made a brilliant diving catch during the perfect game?" or "On a scale from 'Very' to 'Quite', how annoyed was Buster Posey with Pablo Sandoval during Cain's post-game interview?" -- but that didn't seem like a lot of fun.

Instead: limericks. It doesn't have to be about Matt Cain's perfect game, though that would sure be topical! Just about the Giants. The five best limericks about the Giants will win a DVD.

All entries are subject to the official rules, found here. They're real rules, written by a real lawyer! So they're kind of important. One of the parts that you should pay special attention to is the note that "obscene and indecent" limericks are disqualified. That rules out a lot of possible rhymes. Venus. Fur ratio. Arias. This is especially ironic considering the format, because limericks are generally supposed to be naughty. But you're clever lads and lasses. You'll figure something out.

I think ribald is okay. Downright filthy is out. Take your chances!

Here's another important part: The "best limericks" are decided by the readers. This post went live at 12:00 p.m. PT. At 4:00 p.m. PT, I'm going to open the thread back up and see which five limericks have the most recs. If there's a tie, the earlier post wins.

So to sum it up:

1. Limericks about the Giants
2. Rec your favorites
3. The five limericks with the most recs win.