Well. Good afternoon. THE DODGERS CLAIMED ADRIAN GONZALEZ ON WAIVERS as part of a standard procedural thing that probably isn't going to make much of a difference because it's unlikely that THE RED SOX ARE JUST GOING TO GIVE HIM AWAY FOR NOTHING. So stay calm.
We just went through this with Cliff Lee and the Dodgers, and nothing happened. Because of course nothing happened. Nothing happens with these sorts of things. The Red Sox put Adrian Gonzalez on waivers because there is absolutely zero risk involved for them to do so, and, hey, maybe the Rays want to give up Evan Longoria, David Price, and the cat who spins those phat jams in a trade for him. That's absurd, but there's no risk to putting a player on revocable waivers. Just pull him back if another team claims him and doesn't offer their entire farm system.
It's possible -- not probable, but possible -- that the Red Sox are interested in being rid of the $126 million Gonzalez is owed over the next six years. Considering that Prince Fielder just signed for nine years, $214 million, and Albert Pujols just signed for ten years, $240 million, Gonzalez might actually be a little underpaid. If he were still in a gutter funk, you could see how the Red Sox would just let him go, but he's hitting again. Over the last six seasons, he's been healthy and remarkably consistent. He'd probably make more than $127 million on the open market.
But you never know what an owner thinks. John Henry might look at Gonzalez like a talk-radio caller might. Not clutch. Slumpy shoulders. Crap like that. Henry is a smart man, and he employs smart people, but all it takes is one decision-maker to think, hey, let's put that $127 million to better use.
More than that: There are luxury-tax issues at work. The Red Sox' projected payroll according to Baseball Reference is somewhere around $165 million next season. That's $13 million under the luxury tax. Take away Gonzalez, though, and the Red Sox will have all sorts of money to play with. That's money they can do a lot with. Sign Melky Cabrera to a huge deal, for example.
Again, not likely. The Red Sox would essentially be trading the risk of Gonzalez's contract for the risk of Josh Hamilton or Zack Greinke. Either that, or sit on the money this offseason, which would surely go unnoticed in Boston. No, the Red Sox probably aren't giving away Adrian Gonzalezes today. Try the next window.
The annoying part of this news, though, is that a) you're picturing Gonzalez in a Dodgers uniform, flashing back to him doing horrific things to the Giants, and you're twitching on the floor now, and b) this is yet another reminder that the Dodgers are like a drunk oil tycoon trying to impress hangers-on in Las Vegas.
A bottle of Cristal? Only if there are 50 of them for all my friends here, right everybody? Everyone's noticing me, right? Good. Good. I like that. I wonder if I can get a pet tiger. Walk him on a leash and stuff. I'd be that guy with the tiger on a leash. That'd be rad. I think I'll hire someone to look into that … right after I get me one of them Yasiel Puigs I've heard so much about. $42 million? Well, if that's what they're going for … Yasiel Puigs for everyone! What a country!
They don't give a damn right now. Adrian Gonzalez for $127 million? They'd love that. And then they'd spend more to fill out the roster in the offseason. And then they'd extend Juan Uribe just so they could release him to make a point.
That doesn't mean they'll spend the money wisely. But I'm getting annoyed at the constant reminders the Dodgers are rich now. That's the worst part of this news. The Dodgers are rich once again for the first time, and they won't shut up about it. We get it, Dodgers. You have new owners.
I liked the old owner better.