Post-Game Thread: Giants Cruise, Win 9-4

The best part is that I can use the "Joaquin Arias triples in tenth, Giants tie game on Chipper Jones error, lose lead on two-out home run, and win on a pair of Brandon Crawford and Gregor Blanco home runs that were just crushed" macro that I wrote in March. Just hit command-fn-F7, and that baby just pops right up in my word processor. I've been drinking mai tais for the last hour!

I mean, goodness, what was that? Listening to Sun Ra and snorting whatever's in the bottom of my three-hole punch before I start this writeup. Wish me luck.

When you live by the low-scoring game, you die by the low-scoring game. That's not up for debate. One week, you're sweeping the Astros by scoring 11 runs in three games, and the next week, you're losing one-run games on Ryan Theriot doinks and Eli Whiteside passed balls. That's how it is. Those are the gang signs that baseball flashes at you

And when Theriot doinked a ball in the ninth, and Eli Whiteside let a ball doink off to the side to allow a runner on third, it's not cynical to have a feeling of dread. It's not fatalistic, and it's not inappropriate. You've watched hundreds of baseball games in your life. You know the script. You know when the protagonist is given a sword or a key or a letter earlier in the movie, it's going to come back later. There was sloppy play in a one-run game. That never works. It was going to come back.

Then it worked. There are several reasons the Giants won tonight. But don't forget these two:

• Sergio Romo's slider making Paul Janish look like a reliever who had to bat in the bottom of the 17th inning
• Javier Lopez coming in and looking like 2010 Javier Lopez.

Romo's the best, and we've been over that. In 2028, this site will be Romo Chronicles, we'll be broadcasting Romo GIFs from the moon, and you'll be happy to get them astro-beamed into your brain. But Lopez hasn't been quite as magic this year. He has been completely and utterly abused by right-handers this year, and it's not like he's been unhittable against lefties. Small samples. Still like him as the LOOGY. But it's been a rough stretch.

Tonight, he was masterful. If the Giants don't come back to win, that's lost. But his appearance against Michael Bourn was why he's on the team. His role is to make left-handed hitters look like my old boss with a flash drive. What is this? What manner of wizardry? Do I tape it to the side of the computer? The CD drive has a round indentation, but this is a rectangle! He wasn't looking that befuddling for a stretch this year. He was against Bourn, and it was well-timed.

If Brandon Crawford could mix in a home run every two weeks, he'd make $8 million a year one day. That ball was crushed.

Ryan Vogelsong started tonight's game and allowed a run. Before you think about anything else related to this game, think of him and how good he's been.

That was the first time in eight starts that Ryan Vogelsong didn't go seven innings or more.

That was the first time since April 26 that Vogelsong didn't make it into the seventh inning at all.

Vogelsong has pitched a quality start in 16 out of his 17 starts this season.

Vogelsong has thrown 14 straight quality starts, the third-longest streak for the Giants since 1918, behind two different pitchers tied for first. That's not San Francisco Giants history. That's Giants history since 1918.

This is a pitcher who is coming up on his 24-month anniversary of being cut from AAA when he was 31.

…

Out of words. This whole thing is a novel that critics tell me to read, but I only like for the dick jokes in the prologue. I don't get it. I love it! Appreciate it! But I don't get it. I'll pretend to get it at dinner parties. But I don't get it. It's over my head.

I'm going to teach my daughter to chant "U.S.A! U.S.A.!" whenever Buster Posey comes on the TV. At first, I was tentative because I didn't want to seem jingoistic or xenophobic. Baseball is an international game, and I have a lot of love and respect for the game because of that.

But I was born in the United States, and Buster Posey is the United States, which means I was born in Buster Posey, and I don't want to leave, and I'm like a joey in my mama's pouch, so warm and gooey and …

Sorry. Still tripping balls from the Crawford home run. Still teaching my daughter to do that.

Posey is the best. We all know this. And when he was lifted in the ninth on a double-switch -- for a pinch-runner that didn't attempt a stolen base, and was eliminated on a double play six seconds later -- I understood the anger. It cost the Giants their cleanup hitter in a game that was likely to head into extra innings, and that's a miserable feeling.

But I'm erring the side of "All rest is good rest." Do you realize how much Posey is playing? Do you get how lucky the Giants are? When he was clawing at the dirt, I thought his career was over. He was a cautionary tale for future generations for a few days. It's a year later, and he left in the ninth inning for a minor tactical advantage.

I don't agree with the move. But I don't want Posey catching in extras, either. It's been a magnificent comeback season so far. Let's not get greedy. I'll deal with Eli Whiteside getting on base and taking second with his speed when the Giants need him to. Because that happens all the time, right? (Even if it doesn't, I still can't get angry whenever Posey is lifted in the ninth.)

Melky Cabrera has been hearing it from the fans in the left-field bleachers all series.

You hear things about how Braves fans don't care, or how they're a fair-weather bunch. Not true. There are plenty of Braves fans every game who care just as much as you or I. And when they see Melky Cabrera, they don't see the lovable scamp we do. They see Shane Victorino crossed with Salomón Torres crossed with Scott Hairston crossed with the dog from "Duck Hunt. " They hate him.

Can you blame them? He showed up in 2010 out of shape and had one of the most miserable seasons in memory. Do you know what the Braves got when they traded him away? Oh, right. Nothing. They just let him walk. He was that toxic, that abysmal. He made the last out of the 2010 NLDS, and now he's an All-Star? He's good now? He finally dedicated himself to his craft? Well, la-di-freaking-da. here's a medal for him.

And he's been making gestures to the fans. He's been hot-dogging a little bit. This series means something to him. It's a demon he has to exorcise. He's been doing things like goading Jason Heyward to take third on a sac fly.

You know what you'd feel like if the situations were reversed, if a returning player did that to the Giants.

On the other hand, lol.