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Matt Cain Wins Player of the Week, a Sword to Chop Your Face Off

Matt Cain won the National League Player of the Week. Going over some statistics and scouting reports, I'm willing to bet this is because he did not allow a base runner in his last start, whereas other pitchers did. But I don't want to bury the lede here. Cain also won a samurai sword. From a promotional e-mail sent to David Fucillo:

Mizuno will present Cain with the highest honor of for any Brand Ambassador - a customized samurai sword to congratulate him on his perfect game – in Anaheim prior to his next start on Monday, June 18th. This prestigious honor has been awarded only five times by Mizuno to the following brand ambassadors:

· Chipper Jones - 2008 NL Batting Champion

· Heather Tarr – 2009 College Women’s Softball National Championship

· Bobby Cox – Retirement

· Zack Greinke – 2009 Cy Young

· Dallas Braden – Perfect Game in 2010

First things first: I'm not comfortable with Zack Greinke having a samurai sword.


He's got a malignant Hunter Pence thing going for him, and he should be kept away from sharp things.

But I'm comforted by the thought of Matt Cain having a sword to defend us and our families against threats. Like a sword-wielding Bobby Cox. Mizuno should probably stop giving swords out.

The important thing is that Matt Cain is good and he is getting all sorts of accolades for being good. Congratulations to Matt Cain for the game and the POTW award. And the sword. Please put down the sword.