Scurrilous rumors part II: Nick Swisher?

So, so scurrilous. SB Nation is proud to present Heyman Chronicles, a division of McCovey Chronicles Corporation News:

The Mariners, Orioles, Phillies, Giants, Braves and Nationals are all believed to have some level of interest (in Nick Swisher). Several teams seem willing to go to at least three years, with the likely salary figure estimated to be in the $11 million to $13 million range.

Oh, that passive voice. Are all believed. Are all believed? I dunno. Someone believes it. And there's some level of interest, which is a level of interest that can also encompass "none." Good enough for me, suckers! I'll just go ahead and personalize my Giants/Swisher jersey now to stay ahead of the game.

I can believe the Giants are interested at three years, $39 million. That's in the same realm as what Angel Pagan would command, but the Giants could put Gregor Blanco in center and have a Swisher/Blanco/Pence outfield. For all the guff Swisher got in the playoffs -- because his playoff numbers are legitimately hilarious -- he's been one of the most consistent hitters in baseball:

He's a switch-hitter, too, which would give the Giants a couple in the middle of the order. Heck, re-sign Pagan and put him in the lineup, too. Wait, re-sign Pagan and Melky, and move Pence to second, with Scutaro playing short, and Crawford playing fifth base. It could work. All the switch-hitters.

Anything more than a three-year deal would give me the jibblies, but I like the idea of Swisher. This is a nice little perk of having Gregor Blanco in a glass case. He's not an ideal starter, but he wouldn't embarrass himself in center for 120 games. He'd field the position well, at least, and it shouldn't be too hard to find him a right-handed compliment. What's Jason Ellison up to? Get Calvin Murray on the horn, stat.

Again, that shouldn't be the plan. But if there's a chance to get Nick Swisher on a shortish-term deal, it's an option the Giants have.

Swisher, Pagan, Scutaro, Affeldt ... I can get behind that offseason.

Dammit, Heyman. Stop doing this. It's only November.