You know, a Diamondbacks-Giants NLCS would be pretty funny.
It could happen:
- Every single member of the Braves could catch malaria on a trip to Mosquito Island
- Mosquito Island would need to be a real place
- Probably with mosquitos
- That have malaria
- And it needs to have a reason for people to visit. Specifically, a professional baseball team in the middle of their season. As in, "Yeah, the mosquitos. But the casino! And free sno-cones!"
- Then the Braves would catch malaria.
- Except for Derek Lowe, who would catch syphilis
- Then the Giants would win the Wild Card. Also, in this scenario, the Cardinals have caught malaria of the syphilis.
- Then they beat the Phillies in the NLDS because CODY M'F'N ROSS OWNS ROY HALLIDAY lol
- Also, we ain't scared of Cliff Lee! Posey owns him!
- So then the Giants are in the NLCS with the Diamondbacks. Or the Brewers, but the Diamondbacks would be funnier.
If the Giants made up a 6.5 deficit on two teams, they'd do it by winning. So it wouldn't be completely offensive and heinous that the Giants were in the playoffs because we'd remember the furious winning streak of the last two weeks.
But it would be funny to show up in the NLCS just to annoy the Diamondbacks. "Remember all that winning you guys did, and the winning that we didn't really do? Welp, looks like it's all down to a best-of-seven series now. Also, we're the team that won it last year, and most of us gave up two weeks ago, so this is pretty much borrowed money. Wheeeeeeeeeee!"
That isn't especially likely. But it would be funny! Think about how amusing that would be!
Okay, back to reality. This game was the kind of game that annoys me. It was a win, which is great. The offense was a lively bunch, which is swell. But the Giants are still on pace to be one of the worst offenses in team history. And when there's a game like this, it's annoying. Here's why:
Anyone at shortstop
Now, that takes some liberties. Huff, Belt, and Torres have been bad this year. They haven't been "not bad" -- they've been pretty awful in 2011. But I don't think they're that bad overall. The same players in 2012 will have better seasons, if only because I say so.
Long story short: this shouldn't be a historically awful offense. A good offense? An average offense? Not sure if I can go that far. But I'm pretty sure that they aren't historically awful. And a game like that reminds you that it shouldn't be impossible for this team to score runs. But it's probably too late. Whoooops. The lineup that they threw out there tonight, combined with a historically fantastic pitching staff, should have been enough to make the Diamondbacks uncomfortable on September 12th, at least. And a game like tonight's, where a functional offense did hyper-functional things, makes you wonder what could have been.
Instead, c'mon malaria! Come on, you beautiful infectious disease!
Oh well. It's all about the little victories. Surkamp continues to look like a pitcher who can be a Zito with a longer leash from the fans. That's good. Hector Sanchez is impressive for a kid just out of his teens, and Pablo Sandoval decimated a ball to the opposite field, which is always fun to see. Aubrey Huff looks like something in between 2010 and 2011 -- as in, they guy we probably should have expected before both seasons.
Still, what could have been. What could have been ...