Every week I link to my power rankings because, well, they take a long time, and you have nothing better to do.
But the most impressive thing I've ever written in my life is this:
Not because it's any good, mind you, but because it's an article about how I don't care if an adult wearing a glove to a ballgame is uncool. My argument is that I don't like getting hit by foul balls in the face. That night, jponry was hit in the face with a foul ball.
She was the first reader to comment on the article. She disparaged Rush. She did not wear a glove. She got hit in the face. The odds of this happening on the same day are incalculable. That is, if you believe it was chance. If you believe that life is really that random, that it's all a roll of the bones. I'm not certain this is true.
I wrote the article, yet I didn't bring a glove to the game. I wasn't being hypocritical -- I just don't have my mitt right now. Still, it was hubris to taunt the baseball gods like that. And jponry was in the seats that Goofus has for every MCC Night at the yard. She was in the same seat that I usually take.
People, I believe that foul ball was meant for my face. I believe that we've flaunted foul balls' design, and foul balls will seek me out. Now I'm pretty sure I'm done with going to baseball games unless I'm sitting in View Reserved by the left-field foul pole. If you attend a game with me in the future, wear a catcher's mask. It's about to get real.
Either that, or Brandon Belt hates jponry. If you go with Occam's Razor, that might be the most likely explanation, actually. Never mind.