A lot of people in Las Vegas lost their shirts on this one. The over/under on total runs scored was 0, but the Dodgers and Giants blew past that mark. Live by the 1-0 bubble-wrapped sword, die by the 1-0 bubble-wrapped sword.
Let's get straight to the debate. Which kind of loss makes you feel worse?
a. The Brandon Backe Special
You remember Brandon Backe, don't you? Of course you don't. If Brandon Backe was your first college boyfriend, you still don't remember Brandon Backe. Yet he owned the Giants. He'd show up, throw 89-mph fastballs in the general direction of home plate, and the Giants would gladly dribble balls all over the diamond.
Reason it's bad:
Because it's Brandon Backe, a guy who won a roster spot at a carnival by getting a dime to stay on an itsy bitsy saucer.
Thing you can say to attempt to make yourself feel better
"Boy, don't you fellas hate that B-A-B-I-P? Hmm? Who is with me? Confounded letters!"
Thing that actually makes you feel better
Alcohol
b. The (Ace Pitcher) Does Ace Pitcher Things
This one reminds you that Clayton Kershaw, or whatever ace-type pitcher is going nutso against the Giants, is really good. And the Rowand/Burriss/LeMaster middle of today's order was a travesty, but it's not like there was an All-Star team on the bench. Pablo was banged up, Burrell's on the DL, Keppinger was being weighed by customs, and Huff is a lefty with a back problem. What was the magic permutation that was going to break through against Kershaw? Aurilia/Kent/Bonds in 2001 couldn't have hit Kershaw today.
Reason it's bad:
Because you can't blame anyone. Baseball doesn't make sense unless you can blame a scapegoat. So confusing.
And in this specific case, we have to think about Clayton Kershaw being on the Dodgers for a long, long time. Dude's good. He isn't Billy Rowell or Tyler Colvin, who would have been much better options for the Dodgers on draft day.
Here's something I didn't notice until today. Kershaw's walk rate is twice as good as it was in 2009. When he was 21, he had Jonathan Sanchez-like control. Now he's 23 with the same walk rate as James Shields, Matt Cain, and Tim Hudson. We need to pass the hat and fly out Grant Desme to convince Kershaw that there are better things to do with your life. Striking out Giants hitters? What kind of fulfillment could that possibly give you?
Thing you can say to attempt to make yourself feel better
"Mumble mrrrmph tip your cap mmmmrrmrml one of those days herp herp herp buzzsaw nothin' to do murmble mmrrm"
Thing that actually makes you feel better
Alcohol
I think that a. is almost always more annoying, but this game made me think that there's an asterisk. When Kershaw is the good pitcher -- or any Dodger -- it's far worse because, hey, Dodgers. And when the pitcher is going to be on the team for the next forever like Kershaw, it's about as frustrating as a game can get.
Bah. They won the series. Nine wins in their last 12 games. This isn't a game to whine about. I just wish that Kershaw didn't remind us of how good he is. So rude and haughty.
Matt Cain pitched well today, but he gave up a single run, and that's why he deserved to lose. He ... wait, what do you mean, Lincecum? But the Giants lost 1-0. Check your facts before you respond like a jackass. Obviously Cain pitched today.