Post-game thread: Unfair rules, gypsy curses, random anomalies conspire to hold Giants scoreless

So, yeah.

The Giants need to score more runs. My plan, which they should enact right away, is this:

1. They should get better players
2. They should have the players they have hit better
3. They should do this soon

Open your eyes, Giants brass. It’s so simple. Because when your offense is Miguel Tejada, your offense is Miguel Tejada.

Just like the Sámi have hundreds of words for snow, so do Giants fans have hundreds of ways to describe just how disappointed they are in their offense. And I’m out. Cycled through all of them three times. Not sure how to write "the Giants can't hit" in an interesting way anymore.

Instead, let’s talk about Eli Whiteside. Nice guy. Tries hard. Paid his dues. Not a starting catcher. Santiago Casilla threw a wild pitch in the eighth inning that wasn’t the difference in the game, but it was annoying. It could have been the difference in the game. The ball bounced in front of the plate, and Whiteside didn’t get his body in front of it. He didn’t even get his mitt in front of it. It hit him on the wrist.

Now, I’m just a dork who watched the game from my couch, so I don’t know what it’s like to squat for three hours. I’m pretty sure I’d be unable to continue after five minutes. But I know that other catchers can do it, and I think they do it better. They can also not hit just as well as anyone on the current roster.

So if I'm hoping that the Giants learned something from this game, it’s not that the offense stunk -- that’s sun-rises-in-the-east stuff -- it’s that there’s never a good reason to sacrifice both offense and defense from the catching position. Either you have Mike Piazza (or at least Ryan Doumit), or you have Mike Matheny (or at least Doug Mirabelli). Having a catcher who isn’t so good at catching or throwing or hitting is kind of like putting Lance Niekro in center field. There are better ways to limit your team.

Tonight’s game? Phfffpppppt. When a team averages .5 runs a game, they’ll have to mix these ones in with the one-run explosions. That’s how math works.

The other lesson from this game: Madison Bumgarner is quite good. There are fans of other teams, all giddy because their pet prospect is doing well in AA as a 21-year-old. Bumgarner isn’t a mystery to us. He isn’t a projectable something-or-rather -- he’s just good. It’s a shame that he isn’t pitching for a real offense, but he’s fun to watch.