The thing about writing down your opinions and projections every day for a decade isn't that you're wrong on a regular basis, it's that you're wrong all the time with a searchable and sortable database to chronicle your wrong. After Kevin Frandsen's four-hit debut, I know I wrote something breathless -- if "like a mechanical Robby Thompson riding a centaur to fight for our freedom!!" wasn't in the post, I'm sure I was thinking it. After Brian Dallimore, official utility player for Waiting for Boof, hit a grand slam for his first major league home run, I'm sure I wrote a timeline for the next decade of his sure-to-be-successful career as a utility player.
So there are two paths: I could a) give in to the excitement of a rookie hitting a grand slam in his first game, risking the embarrassment of that Frandsen post-game write-up, or b) start prattling on about Brandon Crawford's strikeout rate in the Eastern League or something equally as dour.
I choose "c." This is the weaselly path that is also known as the Andres Torres Out Clause.
If a 31-year-old career minor leaguer can become the top-of-the-order spark plug for a championship team in his first year as a starter, any player can do anything.
Ryan Vogelsong is a pitcher with a mediocre record as a pANDRESTORRESOUTCLAUSE.
Oh. Man, Vogelsong looks good. Hope he can keep it up.
Brandon Crawford had a crazy-hot start in the California League, but he hasn't been able to master the Eastern League, so it's way premature to expect him to pANDRESTORRESOUTCLAUSE.
Oh. Right. Dude looks like a fantastic defensive shortstop, and his lefty swing is sweet, especially against looping, hanging, slow breaking balls. The Andres Torres Out Clause tells us that it's okay to believe in anything. Crawford was once projected to be a first-round pick. He has tools. He's fast, he has a great glove, and he has a little power.
I'm in. I know he doesn't project to be a plus major leaguer right away, so I won't expect anything, but Andres Torres Out Clause. There's magic inside like so much creamy nougat. Maybe Crawford is a bit of a late bloomer, like Chase Utley. And if you think I'm comparing Crawford to Utley, that's not what I'm doing. That wouldn't be fair. Utley could never have sniffed Crawford's 1.833 OPS in the majors.