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Post-game thread: Giants ration poorly, score season's worth of runs against Padres in one game

With the Giants improving to 4-4, it seems as if the...

Yeah. Four translated wins and four losses. Pretty straight forward. Wait, you haven’t heard of translated wins? Why, they’re simple:

Each win at _ is worth _ wins

Coors Field, 1.5
Dodger Stadium, 2.0
Petco Park, 2.0
Minute Maid Park, .75


The three losses to the Dodgers were beyond frustrating. Kicked baseballs, blown opportunities, and smiling Dodgers. Ugly. The loss against the Padres yesterday was just as frustrating, bringing back memories that didn’t need to be brought back.

If there could be a script for a win to end the road trip, then, it would read a lot like this. Tim Lincecum throwing 94-mph with a filthy changeup, dominating like the multiple Cy Young winner he is. Buster Posey breaking out of his mini-slump with a home run and opposite-field hits. Pablo Sandoval and Brandon Belt each collecting a pair of hits. Brian Wilson causing hirsute mischief in the bullpen, ready if he’s needed or not. This is the template for all of the good things over the next few years. Lincecum did that, Posey did this, Belt and Sandoval contributed, and, oh, that nutty Brian!

Well, the awful ninth inning wasn't in the theatrical version of the script. It was cut, and the producer was right to do it.

You know, in San Diego, they have a secret room in which they keep bats at 200°, trying to dry them out. And, without the supervision of MLB, they sneak those bats into the Padres’ dugout, which lets them get broken-bat hits at a far greater rate than their opponent. If you read lips, you could have seen Lincecum mutter "non-juiced bats poppycock," after he made good contact today. It didn’t matter today.

So the Giants are at .500 again. Translated, that is. Untranslated, they’re 2-4, which isn’t good, but it beats the absolute snot out of 1-5 for some weird aesthetic reason.